alif. ya. wau.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Rentetan Seorang Aku

Bukan itu kemahuan aku!
Bukan itu yang aku perlu!
Tapi siapa aku??
Kenapa aku degil?
Kenapa aku keras kepala??
Kerana sayang!
Kerana mereka!
Kerana di sini aku mengenal dunia!
Aku tahu aku lemah...
Aku tahu aku perlu pasrah...
Tapi aku tak berdaya...
Aku tak bertenaga...
Melawan takdir..
Menidakkan yang benar...
Mensahihkan yang palsu...
Aku manusia kerdil!
Tapi...
Bagaimana dengan perasaan aku?
Hati aku?
Naluri aku?
Keinginan?
Impian??
Sanggup aku menepis semua itu?
Kerana keputusan yang satu itu...
Aku hilang segalanya...
Tanpa pedoman..
Tiada pegangan...
Aku hilang arah!!
Aku perlukan pautan...
Aku dahagakan sokongan...
Aku mencari-cari jalan kebenaran...
Agar keputusan bukan lagi bebanan...
Agar aku mendapat ketabahan...
Mengharungi detik perpisahan...
Meredhakan pemergian...
Melangkah longlai meninggalkan kenangan...
Cita-cita... harapan... dan angan-angan...

- Juz Me... –
11/2/2003 [10.25pm]

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Tiny Truths

.@yu Fieda.

.ayu debiyu is a nickname given by my late grandmother. whereas ayu fieda is my virtual name. have shifted to 16 houses. a massive fan of harry potter but hate the movies. love rice porridge very much. prefer to cook Malay dishes than western. addicted to buy books online. currently have more than 20 unread books. favourite magazine is Chip. tendency of losing rings if buy more than one. changed handphones 15 times. huge fan of international football. strongly against pollution, animal abuse and discrimination. always feel humans are being cruel to the world. fastidious about toothpaste not being squeezed from the bottom. do not understand shoplifters. love sushi but hate wasabi. terrible at playing any sports. get frustrated with ownself very easily. secret ambition is to be an author which is now no longer a secret. huge crush on brian littrell and anderson luis de souza. scared with dogs. love to sing and dance. didn't know i'm lefthanded until somebody screamed, "Eii, you're lefthanded!". laugh a lot, can be ridiculously happy. wearing seatbelt while driving is my best habit. both my Bahasa and my english suck, so bear with it. hate chewing gum. ~~addicted to ebay~~. need at least 3 pillows for a good sleep. mark book page by remembering the page number. favourite flower is carnation. pissed off when people littering in my car. don't fall asleep easily. taking rice makes me weak and lazy. adore on how people can quit smoking. have one experience car spinning on the road. don't test me on friendship, i'm vulnerable. taking too many photos makes me exhausted. always set alarm with odd numbers like 7.13, 5.51 or 7.48. been to all states except Sarawak. love rain and clouds. eating is my guilty pleasure. hate when people pinch my nose and cheeks (yes,i mean it). pierced my ears twice. all fave teachers were my English teachers. used to love drawing. think Myspace is a complete disaster. most valued personal asset is car. longest asthma attack ever encountered is four days. ~~hate current job~~. dream guy is someone who is extremely patient, calm, funny and active in any sports. knowledge would like to learn is about pre-conscious mind and astronomy. deeply in love. think in some sense, malays need help.

Currently I'm feeling...

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