You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

(I've to backdate this entry. It was written yesterday.)

Malam kelmarin aku tak boleh tidur. Mungkin sebab masa berbuka puasa, aku makan serawa so perut jadi kembung semacam. Then stay up buat take-home test sambil minum nescafe. Otak jadi ligat berfikir kan bila minum nescafe lewat malam?

Susah gila test tu. No wonder kena bawak balik. Langsung tak faham apa dia nak. Adoi. I spent my whole night doing the first question only. Tu pun tak tahu lah betul ke tak.

I stopped doing the homework around 1 am and decided to go to bed. But my stomach was already bloated at that time so I couldn't sleep. Asyik terjaga je. Setiap jam terjaga and I felt the night was too long. Pergi toilet few times and around 5 am when I was actually sleeping, I was awoken by an SMS ringtone. My ex housemate back in Seri Kembangan had just lost her fiance due to cancer.

Another loss.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun..

Seketika aku termenung. Mencari-cari memori bersama arwah. Jika ada pun, sekelumit cuma. We never talked much with each other. Tapi selalu terserempak cause arwah rajin datang rumah bawa tunangnya makan. Arwah looked fine.. badan dia sihat. Takde nampak dia tu sakit.. I bet he didn't know about it too..

Masa nak Raya wish kawan aku tu.. pesan juga, kahwin jangan lupa jemput. Di situ lah baru dapat tahu arwah sedang menjalani chemotherapy. Terkejut juga aku.

I hope she's strong. Losing someone who is so close to us is really one of the hardest things to deal with.

Semoga roh arwah sentiasa di bawah payung lindunganNya dan moga ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.. Amin.


Al-Fatihah.







Credit : MrCool