Beginning of our end.

It's not that easy..
To walk in front of your friend and say, "My friend, you're doing it wrong."
It's not that simple..
To stop your friend and convince, "You have me to trust."

Lots of friends just pass by and tell, "Whatever you do, don't get me involved."
Most of friends simply look and laugh, "Told you, didn't I?"
Just a few friends would come closer and throw a smile, "My friend, this is not the end."
Just some out of a few friends would look straight into the eyes and hold our sholders, "You still have me."

There's a saying "Friends come and go." Friends always come but they never go. It's ourselves who leave.
We always seek for a good friend; someone who we can rely on, really count on and totally believe in.
We voice out but we never listen. We laugh but we seldom cry for each other.
We want our friends to get closer but we walk off farther.

There's a strong bond that binds us together, friend. I come to you when I need a shoulder to lean on, when my legs become weak and I start to fall onto the ground. I make you laugh so that you know I always want you to feel safe whenever I'm with you. I make you believe, "Hey friend, I love being your friend." Eventhough sometimes I feel hurt by you, it's okay, friend, it's nothing compared to our strong friendship. What's the big deal being ditched by other people just because they think I'm blocking their way when all I ever wanted is to be your loyal friend, right?

I am being honest, friend. I am your friend because I thought we complete each other. So many things we share, so many memories we keep deep in our hearts, so much tears had been leaking from our eyes, how am I supposed to look into your eyes and tell, "This is the beginning of our end."?

I love you, friend. So much, I do. Your flaws I treasure the most, your loathes I hush them away from you. You know I want to be the best friend you could ever have. You do know, right? You do, don't you, friend?

But why, friend, when I see a threat comes into your way and I try to pull you away, you ask me to back off and snap my fingers away from your arms? But why, friend, this time you refuse to listen? Tell me why after all these great times together, you seem to forget why I stand close by your side?

I try so hard, my friend, to hold back these tears so that you wouldn't have to see how much I am hurt. I still smile and laugh with you although my heart soars in pain. I still come to you whenever you call my name, whenever you want me to be there for you. I am never a good pretender, friend, but for the sake of you, my friend who I care so much, I will be the happiest person you could ever see.

Believe me, my dearest friend, you wouldn't know this entry goes to you because trust me this time, I have tried hard enough to keep pretending like you never hurt my feelings, like I never cry in my sleeps thinking how excruciating the pain you caused me. How could you tell?

My friend I love the most, how could you not see what I have been trying to keep you away from? How could you not see how bothered I am to see you hurt? And, how could you think I am not being good enough for you when all I want is to keep you safe from any harm? How could you, friend?

Maybe I do not realize I am no longer needed. Perhaps you are better off without me. Probably I am being irrational for being too concerned about you.

Forgive me, friend. I will leave, if that's all you ever wanted... Because I listen.