Disallocation of the brain cells.

Setelah hampir setahun aku kerja di IT department di company Ipoh ni, ada beberapa attitude or mentality staf yang aku rasa agak kelakar dan boleh dimanipulasi.

1. Mereka akan rasa lega kalau IT department menghadapi masalah yang sama mereka hadapi. It's like a fair situation and they'd stop complaining.

Staf A : Ayu, internet tak boleh nak guna la.
Me : Ha'a down. Kitorang pun tak boleh nak access ni.
Staf A : Oh ye ke? Okey thanks.

Staf B : Ayu, apsal email kitorang tak boleh send/receive ek?
Me : Email down.
Staf B : Habis camne? Saye nak send email la..
Me : Kitorang pun tak boleh nak guna ni..
Staf B : Oh yek? Okey.

2. Mereka akan stop complaining bila kami guna ayat teknikal (this tactic will be applied when there are too many complaints).

Dr. D : I can't browse the Internet. I need to use it. It's very urgent. I have a lecture later on at 9.
Me : The Internet is down, Dr.
Dr. D : What's wrong? Why is it down?
Me : Because there's something wrong with the database server.. and 40Gate failed to operate.
Dr. D : Oh ok. Thanks.

Dr E : Is the internet down?
Me : Yes, the cooling system is not functioning so our server is overheated and has been shut down till they fix the AC.
Dr E : Ok.

3. Bahasa IT mereka kadangkala tidak jujur.

Dr F : I can't open the Internet Explorer.
Me : You mean your laptop is hang and you can't open the browser or you can't view any website?
Dr F : I can't open Google.

Staff G : Ayu, internet slow ke hari ni? Tak boleh bukak web ni..
Me : Saya ok je.
Staff G : Tak boleh ni..
Me : Apa web pun tak boleh?
Staff G : Mm.. Facebook.

Dr H : My files are corrupted. I can't open it. Can you fix? (He handed me the thumbdrive)
Me : These are all shortcuts, Dr. They are not files.
Dr H : Oh really? So can you retrieve the files for me?

Dr I : I don't know why your E-Scan Antivirus gives weird sounds.
Me : E-Scan doesn't have any sound, Dr.
Dr I : It does! Wait I'll bring down my laptop.
Rizal : Dr, it's your Avira that gives the sound whenever it detects a virus.
Dr I : How do you know it's Avira?
Me : How do you know it's E-Scan?

And the doctor went like,

4. Ayat "sedang dibaiki" sentiasa mengubah ton suara mereka yang tinggi kepada rendah.

Staf J : Ayuuuu.. Nape tak leh gune internett?
Me : Ha.. tengah fix kat bilik server.
Staf J. Oh okey.

Dr. K : Is the Internet down??
Me : Yea. We're in the midst of fixing it.
Dr. K : Oh. Alright.