Control, Concentration and Conquest.

A few changes happened to me recently.

I transferred to a new department and a new project. Only God knows how glad I was to be the chosen one. My previous team insisted me to stay since they are short of resources but yea, decision had been made and I prefer not to stay. Seriyes aku tak sampai hati tinggalkan team aku but aku dah tak larat kerja macam nak gila.. pukul 2,3 pagi kena bangun tengok server.. pastu bangun lagi kul 4,5 pagi.. penah aku tak tidur langsung sampai pinggang pun sakit sebab mengadap laptop je. I thanked God cause I had very kind-hearted bosses. During this severe time, I had to report to four bosses since I was doing tasks for two teams. Memang exhausted gila.

Pernah satu hari, IEP buat hal.. masa tu lebih kurang pukul 4 pagi.. Tak pernah2 dia buat problem macam tu sekali. Because of the error, aku terlepas timeline for poldoc generation. It was behind schedule about 3 hours. I called my ex-vendor since he was the one who developed the whole system. Dia cam dah pening, tak pernah encountered such issue.

Him : Cannot be what... (his favourite phrase)
Me : Erm..
Him : It never happened before.. Why ah...
Me : Oh my God.. I feel like crying. (I was so damn exhausted)
Him : No.. no.. Not yet. Don't.

Nak tergelak aku bila dia try nak calm down aku but macam kelakar sebab aku boleh sense kepanikan dia.

This project I just joined uses the same applications as I used before, plus it is more simplified. Yeah well, Streamserve is not widely used in Malaysia. Aku pun tak tahu kenapa. Dah banyak staff cuba diserap masuk team aku, tapi semua macam tak boleh cope and they just couldn't stop complaining because the system is so complicated. Ikutkan Streamserve bukan satu application yang complicated tapi sebab whole structure of our project is the most complicated one in Malaysia (using Streamserve).

The structure they use in my new team is a bit funny. I don't know why they use such method tapi as long as boleh jalan, lantaklah. Plus, this project has gone live for more than 2 years. It's more stable compared to my previous project (launched early 2009).

But they still haven't assigned me tasks yet so I really can't say. Bila tengok Functional Spec diorang, banyak benda aku nak tanya sebab method yang berbeza, aku tak paham, tapi this one guy yang selama ni handle Streamserve kat projek ni cakap, "You're expert than me." Terus aku nak pengsan.

Ikutkan programming bukan bidang aku sangat. I don't like to write. Aku suka baca. Macam baca buku cerita, kita follow every code apa code tu buat. So at least takdelah aku tension sangat kerja ni. Bila part write tu, aku menyampah betul.

Anyway besides my work, aku akan pindah rumah baru. Rumah sekarang ni okay. Aku duduk single room so memang privacy. Tapi aku paling tak boleh lah orang yang tak independant langsung ni. Semua harap aku buat. Dah lah aku kerja tunggang langgang. Apa alasan kau yang sampai kau langsung tak reti buat apa-apa? Aku tak sampai hati nak fire, tapi hari tu aku mengamuk jugak lah dalam SMS. Tapi aku pun hairan dengan diri sendiri. Dalam pada marah-marah tu, tolong jugak. Tak sampai hati.

Tak kira kita duduk dekat dengan famili atau tidak, kenalah tau sikit-sikit macamana nak survive on your own. When you're too dependant, orang rimas. Nak buat ini tak tahu, nak buat itu tak tahu. Sebab tu laki kondem perempuan. "Perempuan apa pun tak reti!" Padahal banyak je orang perempuan yang boleh berdikari. Tapi rata-rata?

I'm not saying I'm good in everything. Seriously no. Aku bukan lah seorang yang boleh hidup sorang-sorang. Tapi aku cuba. Itu yang gi Singapore sesorang, bila sakit gi hospital sesorang, gi baik kete sesorang. Mak aku pun dah bising. Aku rasa sebenarnya bila hidup single ni, kita lebih jadi berdikari. Tapi ada officemate aku sorang ni, dia dah ada tunang tapi dia lagi independant. Gi bercuti oversea selamba je redah sesorang. Dah banyak negara dia pergi pulak tu. Memang terbaik lah. Aku tak berani.

I don't know how long I'll be staying at my new home. Aku rasa macam tak lama. I've my own plans. Aku dah discuss elok-elok dengan parents aku, diorang pun dah bagi restu dan sokongan. Alhamdulillah. Ada rezeki, tak ke mana. Aku berharap apa yang aku plan ni dipermudahkan Allah. Amin.

Aku happy gila hari ni pasal semalam Barcelona beat Manure in Champions League final. HAHAHA. Freaking happy like Speedy Gonzalez! Yaribaaa yaribaaaa~~!! Bila teringat je, aku takleh tahan gelak.. Kuang kuang kuang!

Mase on the way gi ofis, dengar news pasal ni, then the DJ mentioned about the two goals by Eto'o and Messi.. Pastu dia cakap, "And for Manchester? They've got... nothing."

TAKE THAT!!!!!!!


Puas hati aku.