Saya ada Abah.

Comel kan saye? Tengok saya pegang jari Abah camne. Ahaha.

Sebenarnya hari ini birthday Abah saya. Jadi saya nak tulis sikit pasal Abah saya sebelum saya masuk tidur sebab saya tengah kekenyangan ni.. hasil penyumbatan laksa Johor yang saya masak sendiri. First attempt tau.. Kan saya cakap sebelum ni, saya teringin nak makan. Ingatkan nafsu ketika berpuasa tapi memang betul-betul teringin hingga berjaya memasak sendiri. Tahniah, saya. 

Ok nak cerita pasal Abah.

Masa kami kecik-kecik dulu, Abah garang. Gile garang. Sebab dia polis kot. Tegas cam hape je. Emo gak kekadang dengan dia. Merajuk entah bape kali tapi Abah pandai pujuk. Dia tak pujuk dengan kata-kata manis. Dia pujuk dengan perbuatan yang tidak semena-mena sweetnya. Camtu kot dia pujuk Ibu bila diorang gaduh masa zaman chenta dulu. Hahaha.

Dulu kan, saya dengan abang saya ni sentiasa berpasangan dalam membuat kerja-kerja nakal peringkat amatur. Kitorang ni bising gak kekadang. Pernah juga kami satu kereta accident sebab saya dan abang sangat bising dalam kereta sehingga penumpuan Pak Ndak terhadap pemanduan beliau terjejas sama sekali justeru melanggar lori di depan kami. 

(Aku bukan nak cerita pasal Abah ke tadi?)

Tapi dengan Abah, kami behave okay. Sebab kecut perut do. Kalau dia tengah tengok berita, sila jangan mengeluarkan sebarang bunyi-bunyian. Tapi kami tahan dalam 5 minit je, pastu terjerit-jerit, terkejar-kejar. Sampai Abah terpaksa suruh kami duduk atas sofa, tidak boleh bergerak langsung. Gerak sikit je, Abah kasik renungan tajam menusuk kalbu. Fuh. Kami cuba juga meminta pertolongan ibu. Buat muka kasihan agar beliau menyelamatkan kami. Tapi ibu sengih kambing. "Padan muka," ibu cakap dari jauh. Wahh~

Kadang-kadang saya ni pemalas nak naik tidur dalam bilik. Maka saya suka tidur kat ruang tamu atas sofa. Sengaja. Sebab bila Abah nak naik tidur, dia akan dukung saya dan bawa saya ke katil, dan selimutkan saya. Saya pura-pura tidak sedar la. Teruskan membuat muka yang comel + manja + lena diulit mimpi. Syok siot.

Bila kami meningkat dewasa, hubungan saya dengan Abah tidak begitu rapat ketika saya di alam remaja. Oh masa tu saya jahat sedikit. Darah muda. Semua nak ikut kepala angin. Dan Abah pun sibuk dengan kerja. Lepas tu saya sambung belajar di universiti. Bermula dari situ lah hubungan ibu bapa dan anak itu dapat dirasai kuat ke tidak. Hohohorlicks.

Saya juga berubah. Daripada kepala batu, kepala angin, kepala konkrit, saya kembali rapat dengan ibu dan Abah dan saya sedar selama ni dia sayang saya walaupun saya tak pernah pun dengar dia cakap. Haha. Tapi saya dah besar masa tu. Kita tahu cara bapa menunjukkan kasih sayang itu bukan dengan melafazkannya. Ewah. Apa saya ni.

Saya dicop anak kesayangan Abah. Oh jangan risau, saya tidak berniat untuk menafikannya. Hahahaha. 

Mereka cakap, apa saya nak, semua saya dapat. Dari kecik, sampai sekarang. Pikir-pikir balik, betul jugak dol. Tapi adik-beradik saya baik. Diorang tak pernah pertikaikan kenapa saya dapat lebih akan sesuatu.. Atau kenapa mereka tak dapat apa yang saya dapat. Alhamdulillah. Kami tidak ada perasaan hasad dengki antara satu sama lain. Terima kasih, Along dan Iena. (ok ni bukan entry untuk korang. Enter frame apsal?)

Saya juga tidak pandai ekspresi kan kasih sayang saya pada Abah. Cuma saya tidak boleh lihat Abah mengalirkan air mata. Kalau ini terjadi, saya rasa nak pengsan, nak terjun bangunan, nak tebang pokok dan mungkin rasa nak cuci longkang.

Saya harap Abah dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik supaya umur beliau dipanjangkan dan jika umur saya juga dipanjangkan, saya harap dia berkesempatan melihat saya mendirikan rumah tangga dan dapat saya kurniakan dia cucu. Dia teringin dah tu, saya tahu. Sorry ye Abah, anak mu ini jodoh belum sampai lagi.. Kalau jodoh ni boleh kita sendiri tentukan, saya takkan biar dia tunggu lama macam ni. Ya ampun, Bah.. Kita terus doa ye, Abah.

(Apsal berkaca-kaca lak mata saya ni..)

Oleh itu, saya ingin melahirkan rasa kesyukuran kerana dikurniakan Abah seperti Abah yang banyak mengajar saya tentang dunia, dan kereta. Haha.

Kata tadi nak tulis sikit je...

Sebenarnya banyak lagi kisah menarik dengan Abah ni.. Jap ada satu lagi kisah yang saya suka tentang Abah saya.

Dulu Abah seorang perokok. Lepas tu kan, arwah Atuk meninggal kerana kanser tekak akibat merokok. Mm.. di satu petang yang hening, dalam kereta, di bulan puasa rasanya.. Abah tanya kami, 

"Teka lah apa perubahan Abah. Apa yang Abah dah tak buat."

Kami struggle fikir ni.. Nak menang punya pasal. Budak-budak kan, syok ar teka-teki camni. Haha. Ibu pun fikir sama. Tapi semua tak dapat teka. Ibu pun tak dapat teka! Hahaha apa lah.

Pastu kami give up. Abah pun cakap, "Cuba tengok orang kereta sebelah ni buat apa."

Masa tu jem. Kereta sebelah mana satu daa? Berpusing-pusing kepala saya dan Along cari kereta yang dimaksudkan. Tapi sebab ibu terlebih dahulu mengenal dunia, dia terus jawab,

"Smoking? Eh you dah berhenti smoking ke?"

Abah jawab dengan muka menahan bangga yang meluap-luap, "Dah tiga bulan dah."

Fulamak. Nasib baik masa tu takde orang ajar chicken dance lagi. Kalau tak, seat kereta memang akan bertukar menjadi podium.

Sejak itu, saya tidak pernah dapat terima mana-mana lelaki yang memberi alasan susah mahu berhenti merokok. Abah saya boleh buat rilek je. Dia stop terus. Sampai hari ini. Alhamdulillah. Memang jagoan kan Abah saya? 

Bila anak-anak dah handsome dan jelita, Abah tidak lagi segarang dulu. Ada gak lah insiden-insiden kami kena marah, tapi cam biasa lah.. Buat pekak je. Hahaha. Abah ni jenis serius, tapi bila dia buat lawak, sentiasa dengan tidak semena-mena dan kelakar tahap Batman makan belacan. 

Abah dah pandai usik-usik saya dengan seseorang. Kelakar gila. Nak marah pun tak boleh. Sebab serius kelakar. Tapi tak boleh share sini lah ye. =)

Okay itu sahaja. Tulang sum sum saya sedang menggigil kesejukan. 

Untuk Abah,

Selamat hari lahir yang ke.. errr.. dua ribu sepuluh tolak seribu sembilan ratus lima puluh.. Enam puluh? Abah dah 60 tak dapat cucu lagi?????????

Loser betul anak-anak Abah. Hahaha.

(fakta yang sebenarnya, Abah kahwin lambat)

Semoga rezeki Abah dimurahkan dan dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik agar Abah dapat menjalankan ibadah dengan sempurna. InsyaAllah.

Ok lah malas tulis ucapan panjang-panjang lah, bukan dia baca pun dol.

Akhir kata, Selamat Hari Merdeka, Malaysia!

Girlie me makes me geli.

I just purchased a handbag via E-bay! :P

Okay I am actually an online buyer but I’m not consistently active. Regular items that I always or used to buy are books, clothes, contact lenses.. I even bought my notebook online (Dell). I did buy a network switch via E-bay. Oh, jerseys as well.. and ermmm… scarfs.. what else.. Mmm mostly are clothes.

So this is my first attempt buying a handbag. Here it is.. (tunjuk sikit-sikit je lah ek.. malu. Hahah. Tah pape kan?)

Okay kali ni nak cakap pasal kasut pulak boleh tak?

Ah.. suka saya lah~!  (like someone loves to say. Haha)

I think being a simple person makes me being choosy as well sebab aku rasa designers ni suka design tah pape.. serabut semacam. Macam handbag jugak. I browsed through E-bay for shoes but I don’t think buying shoes via the Net is a wise move because you should really try them on first. The size could be different, and you need to feel whether your feet are comfortable with the structure and material or not.

As for shoes, saya juga tidak suka rambu-ramba, juntai sana-sini. But I do like colourful shoes but the matching must be right. Like these..

 I love pointed shoes, and I love heels. If heels, kena runcing lah heel dia tu. If tebal aku rasa macam hilang sentuhan feminin. Contoh macam ni.. cantik, tapi heels dia tebal.

And I am always attracted to brown heels!

I found these shoes at E-Bay and I really feel like purchasing them yet as I mentioned earlier, it’s quite risky to buy shoes online. So yeah… Maybe I’ll ignore them.. sob sob..

Yah okay enough about shoes. I feel so girlish talking about these things. I never talked about these girl stuff in my blog till my previous entry, did you notice that?

Images googled & taken from Ebay. TQ.

Incomplete desire.

Semalam pergi shopping Raya. Nak beli :

1. Kasut

2. Syampu

3. Stationeries

4. Handbag

Kasut berjaya beli tapi bukan untuk Raya. So most probably, Raya tak beli kot. Rembat je lah selipar. Hahaha.

Handbag ada yang seperti diingini tapi colour pulak bright sangat. So tidak beli. Seperkara pasal handbag pompuan ni, diorang suka design serabut gile. dengan zip sana sini.. keychain, rambu-ramba juntai-juntai.. poket kecik-kecik besar-besar.. Tak campur lagi dengan material yang jenis berhurup itu ini.. (saya sangat anti beg CR)

Handbag yang aku suka adalah berbentuk empat segi panjang. Dan plain. Dan tiada juntai-juntai. Dan tidak banyak poket. Dan material tidak boleh ada watermark / jenis berhuruf-huruf ni. Contoh macam ni :-

Atau begini,

Tak pun,

Simple je kan? (I am a simple person with a dull taste. I know.)

Tapi tak jumpa okay. Pfftt~~

Then cari gak baju for casual wear but being fussy me.. I just took a glance and left the shop.

Kitorang keluar rumah lambat jugak lah..kul 3.. Bajet cam nak terus gi bazaar pastu. Tapi rasa macam tak cukup masa la pulak. So maybe esok pergi lagi kot. :P

Sebelum kul 6, me and my cousin left the mall and headed to pasar Ramadhan but it was raining at that time.

Me : So camne? Nak redah gak ke?

Her : Payung takde ke?

Me : Ade tapi malas.

Her : Redah je.

Me : Redah je lah. Kita kan muda lagi.

Ok tak alasan? :P

I was looking for three things.. and one of them is kuih Sum Sum. Tapi aku rasa kuih ni dah pupus lah. Susahnya lah nak jumpa. T_T Bukan tak reti buat sendiri tapi malas nak berdiri lama depan dapur sebab kena kacau sentiasa sampai likat. Lebih setengah jam pulak tu. Wa waaa... (sebab tu orang malas jual kot. haha)

And suddenly this morning I was craving for Laksa Johor for Iftar. Tapi kat mana pulak nak cari laksa Johor kat Ipoh ni.. wu wuu~ Laksa Shack takde pulak kat Perak ni.. So I decided to cook it myself tomorrow. Let's see if this plan comes true! Haha. (read; dah lama tak masak heavy meal)

I have a strong feeling that not all my baju Raya will be ready before Raya. So I am not putting any hope anymore. :P

Okay lah.. Later sambung. Daa.

4 magical alphabets.

Just sharing. No judging. Thank you. :P



Credit : Tumblr

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!

New skin.

Finally.

Phew~~~ *wipes sweat*

See.. I wasn't looking for something so magnificent or fancy. I just need a simple, hassle free, easy to load template.

Okay I can't write a long entry. In the middle of writing my term paper. Yah I know. I bet you wonder how the hell did I update my blog skin while doing the term paper.

I have four hands.

Bleh.

Eighteen Reasons For Fasting.

"O ye who believe! Fasting is ordained for you, even as it was ordained for those before you, that ye may guard yourself (against evil)" Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 183).

Ramadan is a month of fasting and prayers for the Muslims. The fast consists of total abstinence from food and drink from dawn to dusk. There is, however, a greater significance to fasts than mere abstinence from eating and drinking. The real objective of fasts is to inculcate in man the spirit of abstinence from sins and of cultivation of virtue. Thus the Qur’an declares that the fasts have been prescribed with a view to developing piety in man, as is clear from the verse quoted at the top of this page.

How are the many facets of piety sought to be cultivated through the fasts?

1. The prime consideration in undertaking fast, as in any act of devotion, is to seek NEARNESS TO GOD and beseech HIS PLEASURE and FORGIVENESS. This itself generates a spirit of piety in man.

2. The wilful creation of the stringent conditions of hunger and thirst for one’s own self, simply in obedience to the Divine Order, measures the FAITH of man in God and helps to strengthen it by putting it to a severe test.

3. Fasting enhances through creation of artificial non-availability, the value of the bounties of God, which man is apt to take for granted in the midst of plentiful availability, and thus inculcates in man a spirit of GRATITUDE and consequent DEVOTION to GOD. Nothing else can bring home to man the worth of God’s bounties than a glass of water and a square meal after a day‑long fast. This also reminds man that the real joy in enjoying God’s bounties lies in MODERATION and RESTRAINT and not in OVER INDULGENCE.

4. Fasting makes us deeply conscious of the pangs of hunger and discomfort suffered by the less fortunate among our brethren, who may have to put up with such stringent conditions all through their lives ‑ it thus enkindles in man a spirit of SACRIFICE leading to CHARITY towards his suffering brethren.

 

5. Fasting affords man an unfailing training in ENDURANCE ‑ i.e. a SPIRIT OF. ACCEPTANCE of the inevitable, which could well prepare him to put up with the unchangeable situations in life in the same spirit of RESIGNATION as cultivated during the fasts.

6. Fasting develops COURAGE, FORTITUDE and a FIGHTING SPIRIT IN man to surmount the heavy odds in life with a cool and tranquil mind. It sharpens his, power of CONCENTRATION to overcome obstacles, through a vigorous exercise all through the month, leading to a steeling of his WILL POWER and RESOLVE, which could help him in trying situations in actual life. It is seen that many an undesirable habit which is found hard to leave, is more easily left off during the days of fasting.

7. Fasting teaches man RELIANCE on God and CONFIDENCE in HIM in facing the bitter situations in life with the comforting thought that these too, ordained by Him, could well be surmounted through His assistance alone, even as the rigorous state of fasting for a complete month. For, fasting develops the quality of PATIENCE in man, with the realisation that, as the days of fasting, though seeming unending do have a successful and, so are all the bitter situations in life. It therefore infuses a spirit of GOOD CHEER, (driving away BITTERNESS and DESPAIR) in his attitude towards life and in his demeanour towards others.

8. Through quick alternation of the state of plenty and of scarcity, fasting seeks to inculcate in man the right type of attitude in different situations in life‑ of GRATITUDE and THANKSGIVING in plenty and of PATIENCE and FORBEARANCE in difficulty.

9. Fasting is meant to CONQUER ANGER, not to augment it, and to develop SELF‑CONTROL in man; for the vigorous effort of wilfully putting up with a continued state of hunger and thirst can well be extended to conquer other infirmities of human character that lead man into error and sin.

10. Fasting inculcates a spirit of TOLERANCE in man to face unpleasant conditions and situations without making his fellow-being the victim of his wrath on account of his adverse conditions, such as deprivation of his basic needs of life, which constitutes the common cause of dissension among men.

11. Fasting MELLOWS a man and enhances his character, giving jolt to the human instincts of ‘PRIDE, HAUGHTINESS, ENVY and AMBITION, for when fasting, a man’s energies are too sapped to follow these instincts which are the chief causes of discord and conflict among men.

12. Fasting exposes the weakness of man in the event of his being deprived of but two of the bounties of God ‑ those of food and drink; it thus infuses in him a spirit of MEEKNESS and SUBMISSION, generating HUMILITY and PRAYER in an otherwise arrogant man.

13. Fasting breathes the spirit of FORGIVENESS in man towards his subordinates, as he himself seeks God’s FORGIVENESS through fasts and prayers.

14. Fasting affords lessons in PUNCTUALITY through man’s strict adherence to various time‑schedules in the observance of fasts and offering of prayers.

15. Fasting can be made to effect ECONOMY in an individual’s life, which can be extended to wider spheres.

16. Fasting enforces in man rigid DISCIPLINE ‑ mental, spiritual and physical ‑ a trait of character which forms an essential ingredient to success in human life.

17. Fasting provides LEISURE, that could he gainfully employed in devotional or intellectual pursuits. The month‑long duration of fasts creates a proper climate for the SPIRITUAL REFORMATION in man, infusing in him a spirit pf enthusiasm and zest to turn over a new leaf ‑ an opportunity provided every year.

18. On the physical side, fasting cleanses the human system of the accumulated impurities of uninterrupted eating throughout the year. It prepares the body for toughness and hardihood to face disease or conditions of scarcity. The rigid abstinence that the fast provides, regulates man’s HEALTH, sharpens has INTELLECT, gives spurt to his SPIRITUALLY and enhances the qualities of his HEART. With the cleansing of the human body, it paves the way for its easy and effective rebuilding through meals at the end of the day or after the month is over.

Source : Jamiatul Ulama

Image Credit :  Xx-miss-wt-ever-xX

Wishing for the impossibles.

Life is not just about us. Life is not just about building our future. It’s not just about doing what we love and seeking what we want.

It’s more than that.

We are alive because of God’s will. We wouldn’t be here if He says we don’t deserve it. Life is temporary. We’re on loan. But we always feel life is in our hands. Sometimes we forget we’re going to have to return it back..

In fact, we are here on a mission.

It’s been 26 years I lived as me. I left my past, I live in present and I look forward for my future. I am not certain how my life will be like in perhaps 10 years ahead? Even 10 months ahead? Or 10 weeks? Or even 10 days..

I am being me. A human. Incomplete. Imperfect. Flaws here and there.

We always want to be a better person. At least that’s what I am always hoping for, eventhough sometimes I feel like I’m getting worse day by day especially when I hurt people I care for, or when I failed to do something I wanted to do, or when I did something I was not supposed to do, or when I neglected things I should have been doing. At the end of it, I made the same wish all over again – to be a better person.

I can’t measure my own success or how far I have achieved my dreams. It’s too subjective. I can only think, is this where I want to be? Is this how I should do it? Is it enough? Does this satisfy me? Is this what I truly deserve? Am I happy?

I know I can’t get everything I want. Sometimes I wished too hard for the impossibles. They said nothing is impossible. Are you sure? Do you know every thing in this world?

What if I ask you to take out your heart and stay living as per normal?

What if I ask you to sweep the whole KLCC floors in one single day?

What if I ask you to go to Mars and come back within one hour?

What if I ask you to stop loving?

Is it possible?

Yes.

Upon God’s will, that is.

If really nothing is impossible, then why do we even need the bloody word?

I have doubts in my life. Everyday. All the time. I can’t stop thinking how I should live my own life or whether I am heading to the right path or whether I am making a right decision. I can’t stop wondering when I will have those things I’ve been longing for and what are the reasons that stopping me from getting what I wish for but deep down inside I know, I can’t have it all and God always Knows better than any living creature that He created. Including me.

So, I just keep on praying. I trust Him. And I need His trust too.

I am always thankful for what I have and what I don’t. At least I know I have a good life.. perhaps better than lots of people in this world. I am lucky to be me. I have a good family, a job, a happy life, a complete human body eventhough I sometimes see other people are luckier than me. I did wish I could have what they have.. I did wish I could feel their reasons to be happy such a way yet I know they also don’t always get what they want.. They also lack here and there.. But they still live their own lives, so why shouldn’t I?

I do have reasons to feel sad but they don’t stop me from being happy.

I do have weaknesses that make me feel down but they don’t stop me from stepping further.

I do feel lonely and low yet I still have my enjoyable moments and great memories to keep.

Sometimes there are tough moments that made me wanting to hate myself so much but really if we hate ourselves, how are we going to let other people appreciate us? Who else is going to open our heart if we are the ones who shutting it down?

This writing is solely as a self reminder to myself as to refrain myself from thinking things that will only let me down.. Things that will only eat me up from inside.

I hope I will stay strong and try to hope less for things that are out of my reach. For things that I don’t deserve.

I’ll be celebrating my 26th birthday really soon but it is still the same day as I have lived for the past 9492 days but I do hope some things will be different this year. Some already are, making 2010 is a different year for me just like I hoped.

Thank you, God.. for giving me everything that You have given me.





Credit for image : Syva@Deviantart

Mari membuang masa.

FOUR NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
1. ayu
2. fieda
3. nora
4. emak (haha)

FOUR MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:
1. tarikh lahir my beloved ones.
2. tarikh follow up kat hospital
3. tarikh gaji masuk haha.
4. tarikh ..err.. that's all i guess.

FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
1. listening to music
2. coding
3. surfing the Net
4. tweeting

FOUR WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. crack stupid jokes.
2. think happy thoughts
3. talking to my close friends.
4. pamper myself.

FOUR GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE
1. carnation
2. perfume
3. iphone cover
4. watch (simply because i'm too sad thinking my lost watch)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. tweeting
2. surfing the net
3. singing
4. writing

FOUR PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:
1. UK
2. Barcelona, Spain
3. Italy
4. Portugal

FOUR FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. Iced Milo
2. Nescafe
3. Choc Ice Blended
4. Iced Lemon Tea

FOUR THINGS ALWAYS FOUND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. Pillows
2. Postcards
3. Inhaler
4. Teddy bears

FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1. Brown
2. Purple
3. Chartreuse
4. White

TOP FOUR HANGOUTS:
1. Karaoke
2. Movies
3. Bowling
4. Dining out

TOP FOUR YOU LOVE SO MUCH:
1. My family
2. My car
3. My Iphone
4. My friends

TOP FOUR "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:
1. Friendship
2. Family bond
3. Happiness
4. Trust

TOP FOUR REASONS WHY YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:
1. I love surveys
2. Bored
3. A way to reduce my stress while coding
4. To give my blog an update

TOP FOUR WHO YOU THINK WILL ANSWER THIS SURVEY:
1. James Bond
2. Usop Sontorian
3. Gaban
4. Ironman

Happy now?

Cik ayucandy,

Puas hati dengan font size sekarang??

Haha.

What we have doesn't mean what we own.

Update, update.. Dah ramai sound blog aku asyik berabuk la.. bersawang la.. banyak semak la.. Sorry wei. Nanti suh DBKL bersihkan. :P

I've been quite busy with my new job. I have to say it's really challenging for me but I'm not looking forward to give it up yet that's for sure. Campur pulak dengan assignment yang menimbun. Workshop lah. Term paper lah. Project lah. Thank God the exam this coming Saturday has been postponed to 26th September. Otherwise tak tahu lah aku celah jam mana aku nak bukak buku.

Dah lah banyak kerja, boleh pulak notebook ofis ni corrupted sampai takleh buat apa-apa. Terpaksa pulak la masuk bengkel.. Try gak recover, fix Windows, tak nak reformat. Berjaya guna tak sampai sehari pun, crashed balik. Kesudahannya, anda pasti tahu.

Satu hari gak lah nak install balik semua applications pas kena format. Kat situ je dah buang masa.

Kelas baru-baru ni berjaya gak aku pergi. Haha. Susah siot nak pujuk diri bila dah duduk jauh ni. Kan best kalau boleh online learning je. Lecturer mengajar kat kelas, gwa tengok dari PC je. Wah.. terbaik. But I was completely restless. Malam Sabtu tu buat dua assignments, terkujat-kujat lah depan notebook memerah idea nak merapu dalam term paper ni. Sangkut siot. Akhirnya berjaya siap pada pukul 5.45 pagi. Ye, tidak tidur okay. Berhenti pukul 4.40 pagi untuk sahur sahaja. Teringat pulak zaman degree dulu haha. Itu lagi kucar kacir hidup aku. Kalau belum jam empat pagi, jangan harap nak tidur.

Nanti bila dah kena buat dissertation, maybe aku ambil unpaid leave for the whole semester. Nak ambil study leave memang tak cukup lah kan. Haha.

Ha al-kisah sang unta di padang pasir ini..

Kitorang ada presentation untuk satu subjek ni. Tapi slides tak finalize lagi sebab ada benda nak ditambah-tambah.. So kitorang pun edit lah dalam notebook member aku sorang ni time kelas yang pertama. Presentation adalah pada kelas kedua. Duduk belakang sekali, confirm tak fokus langsung. Sebenarnya kami jenis tak biasa duduk belakang ok. Kami muka gadis-gadis skema yang suka duduk di depan. Tapi sebab kali ni kelas combine dengan other group, so penuh lah pulak by the time we entered the lecture room.

Masuk kelas kedua, we were almost prepared. Aku punya part settle lama dah. Lecturer pulak masuk lambat. Then, member aku nak edit final slides, tiba-tiba ya notebook itu crashed. Windows pun tak boleh masuk. Error dia lebih kurang file system config gagal dikesan. Aku bajet virus je. Hua hua.

On off la banyak kali.. duk tekan F1.. F8.. tak leh buat apa.

Yang empunya notebook ni, mata dah berkaca-kaca. Yang sorang lagi aku tengok mata dah merah, tiba-tiba dia keluar kelas. Haa.. confirm. Aku pun heran apsal diorang emotional gila. Ni bukan zaman degree kot. Aku pun terpaksa la acting cool kan, "Ala.. takpe. Dah crash nak buat camne. Kita bukan nak tipu pun. Satgi tunjuk je la kat lecturer. Takdenye dia nak marah ke apa."

Yang groupmate sorang lain tengah sarat mengandung, tunggu due je. Aku tengok dia ni lain macam je. Aku pun tanya, "Sakit ke? Baby tendang ke ape? Ke contraction??" Ha yang ni aku panik sikit. Haha.

Dia cakap memang tengah sakit sebab position baby dah tukar, kepala kat bawah. Ye lah sebab dah nak deliver kan. So aku cakap, if tak larat, jangan present. Aku suruh balik, tak mau pulak. Gigih tul si ibu ni. Kitorang kat sini sibuk belek notebook sambil mata duk tengok dia. Setiap sepuluh minit gak lah aku bertanya.

"Ayu tak pandai nak sambut baby, tapi kalau setakat suruh buat breathing exercise tu boleh la kot," sejujurnya aku menutur kata.

Pastu lecturer masuk, bebudak ni berebut nak cakap termasuk lah yang tengah sakit ni. Adoi. Jangan sampai tiga-tiga aku ajar breathing dah lah. Last-last siapa yang dapat cakap? Yes, the one in pain. Haha. Bagi laluan please.

Lecturer aku cakap, "Calm down. Rilekksss... It's not like the end of the world, guys."

Haha. Pastu group lain mintak one hour to prepare. Hmm..siapa yang menghadapi masalah runcing ni? So lecturer gwa yang sempoi ni pun agree dan suruh kitorang try buat slides baru within one hour. Fuh berpeluh.. 43 slides! Bukan wording saja ye.. table, graph semua ada.

Oh.. mesti korang tanya, apsal tak buat backup? Pada ketika ingin buat backup itulah, notebook tersebut crashed. Masing-masing bawak backup part masing-masing tapi si empunya notebook ni dah alter banyak benda so banyak lah yang tidak ada. Bukan salah dia pun. Mana lahhhh tahu nak crash pulak aih.

Aku pun keluarkan lah notebook aku and took over. 43 slides.. 43 slides.. tak sempat do. Nasib baik sorang lagi bawak notebook gak, so bahagi dua. Aku buat dalam 25 slides. And I did the final editing. Fuh lenguh bahu sebab kelam kabut.

Akhirnya siap tapi ini part paling best. Hanya tiga group dapat present. Masa tak cukup dan kami pun tak sempat nak present. Yeahhh terbaik. Macam nak gila kot kitorang prepare slides last minute. Cis cis.

Balik kelas, lepas Isyak.. aku terus 'pengsan'. Tidur lena tahap gaban menumpaskan tige belas resakse. Sampai mengigau pulak tu SMS orang suruh jangan raya lah apa lah. Ape kes la si Ayu. Kasik malu rakyat bunian je (konon-konon aku puteri bunian la). 

Aku sebenarnya nak give a short update je. Ni apehal macam berjela je ni..

Anyway, this morning we received a sad news as one of our staff's wife has just passed away yesterday.

And I just found out that the owner of the blog OneBreastBouncing has passed away last month and I was too late to find out about it as I haven't read her blog for quite some time. She was struggling to fight for her breast cancer and believe me she was a really tough lady.She was a true fighter.

On her last entry she did mention she was going to perform Umrah.. Alhamdulillah she was able to make it. And her last paragraph really broke my heart.. Wuu sebak.

"Let's hope this is not the final entry. Should it be, I hope it becomes an avenue that people seek for some good guidance, InsyaAllah."

There are many condolence wishes around the Net as her blog was quite well-known. But I can't read them, kang tak pasal-pasal hujan.

May both women soul rest in peace.

Al-Fatihah.

Credit : ShatteredAngel

Appreciate while it lasts.

(From the book "Khulaasatul Kalaam" by Shaykh Jaarullah)

1. Fast Ramadhan with belief and truly seeking the reward of Allah the Most High so that He may forgive you your past sins.

2. Beware of breaking your fast during the days of Ramadhan without a valid Islamic excuse, for it is from the greatest of sins.

3. Pray Salat ut-Taraweeh and the night prayer during the nights of Ramadhan - especially on Layatul-Qadr - based on belief and truly seeking the reward of Allah, so that Allah may forgive you your past sins.

4. Make sure that your food, your drink and your clothing are from halal means, in order that your actions be accepted, and your supplications answered. Beware of refraining from the halal while fasting and breaking your fast with the haram.

5. Give food to some fasting people to gain a reward similar to theirs.

6. Perform your five prayers on time in congregation to gain the reward and Allah's protection.

7. Give a lot of charity for the best charity is that of Ramadhan.

8. Beware of spending your time without performing righteous deeds, for you will be responsible and reckoned for it and will be rewarded for all you do during your time.

9. Perform `umrah in Ramadhan for `Umrah in Ramadhan is equal to Hajj.

10. Seek help for fasting during the day by eating the sahoor meal in the last part of the night before the appearance of Fajr.

11. Hasten breaking your fast after the sun has truly set in order to gain the love of Allah.

12. Perform ghusl before fajr if you need to purify yourself from the state of major impurity so that you are able to do acts of worship in a state of purity and cleanliness.

13. Cease the opportunity of being in Ramadhan and spend it with the good that has been revealed in it - by reciting the noble Qur'an and pondering and reflection of its meanings so that it be a proof for you with your Lord and an intercessor for you on the Day of Reckoning.

14. Preserve your tongue from lying, cursing, backbiting and slander for it decreases the reward of fasting.

15. Do not let fasting cause you cross your boundaries by getting upset due to the slightest of reasons. Rather, fating should be a cause of peacefulness and tranquility of your soul.

16. Upon completion of fasting, be in a state of taqwa of Allah the Most High, being aware of Allah watching you in secret and in public, in thankfulness for His favors, and steadfastness upon obedience of Allah by doing all what He has ordered and shunning all that He has prohibited.

17. Increase in remembrance of Allah, seeking of forgiveness, asking for Paradise and protection against the Fire, especially when fasting, while breaking the fast and during suhoor, for these actions are among greatest causes of attaining Allah's forgiveness.

18. Increase in supplication for yourself, your parents, your children and Muslims, for Allah has ordered making of supplications and has guaranteed acceptance.

19. Repent to Allah with a sincere repentance in all times by leaving sins, regretting those that you have done before and firmly deciding not to return to them in the future, for Allah accepts repentance of those who repent.

20. Fast six days of Shawwal, for whoever fasts Ramadhan and then follows it with six days of Shawwal, it is as if he fasts all the time.

21. Fast on the Day of `Arafah, the 9th of Dhul Hijjah, to attain success by being forgiven your sins of the last year and the coming year.

22. Fast on the day of `Aashuraa', the 10th of Muharram, along with the 9th, to attain success by being forgiven your sins of the past year.

23. Continue being in a state of iman and taqwa and perform righteous actions after the month of Ramadhan, until you die. "And worship your Lord until there comes to you the certainty (i.e. death)". [Qur'an 15:99]

24. Ensure that you attain the positive effects of your acts of worship such as prayer, fasting, zakat and hajj, sincere repentance and leaving of customs that are in variance with the Sharee`ah.

25. Invoke a lot of salawat and salam upon the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, his Companions and all those who follow them until the Day of Judgment.

O Allah make us and all Muslims of those who fast and stand in prayer during the month of Ramadhan based on belief and truly seeking Your reward so that we are forgiven our past and future sins.

O Allah make us of those who fasted the month, attained full reward, witnessed Layatul-Qadr and attained success by permission of the Lord, Blessed and Most High.

O Allah, verily you are Forgiver, like to forgive, so forgive us.

O Lord, accept from us, verily you are the All-Hearing, all-Seeing, O Living, O Independent, O Owner of all majesty and honor.

And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad, his family and his Companions.

With this, I'd like to wish Salam Ramadhan to all my friends, colleagues, family, relatives and all Muslims out there wherever you are. Hopefully this Ramadhan will give us the opportunity to come closer to knowing Allah Taala and Islam thus opening our hearts to appreciate the holy month and seek for His true blessings. May this Ramadan be as bright and meaningful as ever. May this Ramadan bring joy, health and wealth to us.  InsyaAllah.

I also would like to extend my sincerest apology to all of you for all my wrongdoings, bad jokes, words or anything that I did that have hurt your feelings. I am deeply sorry.

Kul 'am wa inta bekhair..

Credits : Islaam,  Famz and mysticswordsman21

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Self-reminder.

1st August : Danial (anak buah)

4th August : Mak Ngah (Danial's granny)

6th August : Nurul (cousin)

9th August : Mak Long (aunty)

13th August : Hafifi (anak buah)

15th August : Mak Tam (Nurul's mother)

26th August : Me and Mira (Hafifi's elder sister)

30th August : Abang Rosdi (Danial's father)

31st August : Abah (my dad)

This is the reason why August is always a special month to me. :)

And on top of that,

It's the holy month coming up.. falls on August!

We are special, don't you think? Hehe.

And I would also like to wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all my friends who celebrate their birthday this month. Ramai lah.. I can't name all of them so I make it general.

So let me sing a birthday song for you guys yah.. :)

"Happy Birthday to you,
you live in a zoo,
you smell like a monkey poo,
and you look like one too."


Hahaha.. I'm kidding. :)

May you have a blessed year ahead, friends! InsyaAllah.

Oh..

Just to make it more special... Deco's birthday is on 25th, one day before mine. WE ARE SO MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!!! HAHAHA.

Credit: Tbrooks-omgz

That tiny little thing.

There is one doctor who is working as a lecturer here at my company I'm working with. He recently joined us and I went to the same induction course with him. He is someone who is very enthusiastic (no kidding) and likes to motivate so much. He sometimes even interrupted the coordinators during their sessions because he had so many things and ideas he'd like to express.

Ever since the induction course, I have received several e-mails from him as he loves to respond to the emails he received and sometimes simply share things and acknowledge things that people gave to him. Why am I in the loop? you might ask. It's because he included every email he could find and he has everyone's email who joined the induction including me.

To my surprise, he shares the same birthday month as mine. How do I know? Because early this month, I received a birthday greeting card from my company and this morning, I received an email from him thanking the CEO and Head of Human Capital for the card. (Now you must be wondering still why does he have to put me in the loop, right?)

His e-mail shows his sincerity to acknowledge the effort and very glad to receive the birthday card. But somehow at the end of the email, I found his other intention. Good, I believe but funny till I laughed in front of my notebook.

Dear Prof., Dr.  and Capt ,

Thank you very much for sending the “Happy Birthday” card during first week of the month of Birthday.

It was written  “May your special day be filled with joy, many blessings and some wonderful suprises.”

This is just to let you know that  “suprises” was spelled without r (surprises).

With warmest regards,

Have a pleasant day !!!

Yours sincerely,

Assoc. Prof. Dr. X

Lecturer in surgery

Unexpected offer.

Yeahh…sudah berminggu blog tidak update. Banyak benda nak buat lah huhu.

Ditakdirkan pada tanggal 24 haribulan Julai, aku telah dimasukkan ke hospital akibat serangan asma yang agak severe.

Okay sebenarnya agak tidak semena-mena jugak lah. Entry sebelum ni I did mention about me having a bad cough for more than two weeks. I went to see a doctor and he gave me antibiotics and it didn’t work so I went again to see another doctor and he changed my antibiotics and I finished it. But still, I was not recovering at all. Ni masalah dengan GP ni.. bukan boleh percaya sangat.

Setelah dihujani dengan macam-macam bebelan, ibu suruh jumpa speciallist terus di Ipoh Speciallist Hospital, so aku pun dengan rasa nak tak nak, pergi je lah hospital tu hari Sabtu. Unfornately we came at 2 something and the speciallists are working half day on Saturdays. Tapi sebab dah sampai, jumpa je lah doktor biasa je.

I was okay at that time, just having a bad cough but I somehow believed that the aircond in the waiting lounge made me felt sicker. I just kept quiet until they called my name. It was not for long, around 10 minutes after they checked my BP and body temperature. My mom insisted to come along so I let her.. camne nak stop pulak kan? :P

So yeah that’s where it’s all started. The asthma attack finally came by the minute I entered the doctor’s room. Perfecto. I was so much in denial so when the doctor asked what’s wrong with me, I just told him I was having a bad cough for more than two weeks. So yeah how can I lie to a doctor when I was actually panting at that time?

He asked whether I’m an asthmatic. Of course I had to say yes, mom was behind me, remember? Then he started to ask all my medical history on asthma and finally I interrupted him, “Doc, I don’t think I’m having an asthma.” (You may laugh)

Then my mom started to laugh and the doctor was trying hard not to. Then he said, “Hellooo... Welcome to the hospital. I’m asking all these relevant questions to asthma, not diarrhea.” So yeah my mom laughed again and it was really embarassing. He checked on my breathing and he just couldn’t stop smiling, you know. I know you got me, doc. You don’t have to smirk like that.

“Your chest is very tight, really tight. So, can we admit you?”

I was like, “Hah?” and I looked at my mom who was also surprised.

“No, I shouldn’t ask that. We must admit you. Sorry. I’m not giving you any option.” There he said it. Then they rushed me to get the nebulizer as by this time my coughing went bad to worse. Non-stop until everyone in the area was looking at me. The doctor called another doctor who was on call. And, God.. he’s charming. Yah ok sorry. Out of the topic.

"See, you're less coughing now, right?" said the doctor with a winning smile when I was on nebu. Oh, shut up.

Alright so long story cut short, I was also suspected to have pneumonia and TB, I had to do Xray twice. But turned out I didn’t have both. Thank God. But I got lung infection, bacteria in my urine and blood infection. As for the blood infection, I believed it’s a false alarm since my platelet and WBC count are always high but I was too lazy to inform the doctor. He somehow was interested about my drug allergy cause I’ve so many.

So I was admitted for 3 days, longer than expected. He promised me 24 hours only! But he said my improvement did not meet his expectation. Whatever. He almost cancelled my discharge on the  third day, maybe he liked to see me (joking, silly).. but I asked him to let me go. Maybe we are just not meant to be, you know…

I went to a follow up last Thursday. He still remembered some personal details about me.. that  should tell something, right? LOL. He asked me to get myself a spirometry which I think… not important. :P I asked him about my daily inhaler cause I didn’t know how long I should use it so I stopped taking it four days after I was discharged (and I got asthma attack on the next day. Ha.Ha.).

Guess what he answered?

“You have to use it till you’re dead. Sorry I’ve to be straight forward with you.”

“Yah.. well..that’s.. clear enough.”

“Good.”

Then he added one more inhaler so I will continue using it till God knows when and the inhaler costs me hundreds!!! @#$%^&*^!!

Okay enough talking crap. Sorry if this entry bores you. I gotta do my work. More stories coming up.. but only if I have time. :P

Thank you for all your prayers and good wishes.