Senarai hajat.

First and foremost, I do not celebrate Xmas. In fact I don't think Santa can afford to get me all my wishes. So I have a new year wish list. It's pretty ridiculous though, but these are things I really wish I could have or planning to have. I can't afford most of them in a short time, but it's not impossible to own them. Well, I have one year to get to the budget, right?

I hate cars. Cars are beautiful, I admit. But they can never seduce me, not yet. So none of them will be in my wish list. Instead, I love gadgets. I think they're perfect. I mean the functions, the design, the feeling you get when you touch it.. the sensation you feel when it's in the palm of your hands. It's... seductive.

So yeah, most of the items in my wish list are gadgets. The problem with gadgets is the evolving technology. It's really fast. Sometimes it's too fast people can never chase it. People like me, who can always dream to have one but seldom actually get to have one, you know?

If only money is not a problem..

So anyway, let's get down to the list, shall we?

1) The first item at the top of my wish list is definitely a PSP. I've been longing to buy one for years, but I kept postponing it because I managed to control my lust. Hah! So yeah, I think it's about time for me to have one, I can't hold it any longer. However it's still a battle between PSP 3000 and PSP Go. PSP Go is like love at  first sight to me, it's hard to get beaten down by others that could be much better than it. I know it's smaller than PSP 3000, probably that's the only weakness that has been bothering me to not stop comparing with PSP 3000 but the functions and the new slide design blind me. Oh helppp~~

Oh wait, smaller means it's easier for you to carry it around, don't you think?

The price : RM1100++

2) Iphone 3Gs.. I'm in love with it ever since I saw it. The thing is I already have my Samsung Pixon with 8 megapixel camera and so far it has not given me any headache yet.. except the trouble I face when I'm driving while texting (so it's illegal, I know) but Iphone definitely will give the same problem.

I still wish I could have one, but as for now, let's stick with my loyal Pixon.

The price : RM2600++ for 16gb (I think, I'm not sure. Correct me if I'm wrong)

3) Samsung Portable HDD 500gb. Oh well, if you really ask me specifically, I would rather go for 1tb. But the size of 3.5 and the fact that it needs external power supply make me think harder. I'm not sure if I can get any 720gb Samsung but I believe it's out there. Anyhoos, I'm gonna get one by end of this year I think. Magico (read: my lappy) is running out of space and it's really critical, it only has 26gb left. Haha.

The price : RM330 (for 3 years limited warranty)

4) Let's go for something non-gadget. Hmmm.. lemme think. Oh let's be a little feminine, Ayu. My all-time favourite perfume, Miss Dior Cherie.. the second one. I still love it no matter how many other perfumes I smelled. Even the third edition failed to impress me. But it irritates me cause it's the most expensive among the three. The first one, oh I freaking hate the smell. The third one is just-ok.

The price : RM309 for 100ml

5) Olympus Pen E-P1. Finally, here comes the vintage looks I've been waiting for ages! The functions are not bad at all and yes, it can produce vintage photos on the spot. Uh I'm so loving it. But it's too pricey for me for a camera.

The price : RM3800

6) Sony VAIO X Netbook. I am aware I already have a laptop in fact am using it now, but my 15"  Inspiron Dell laptop sometimes can be a little too heavy for me to drag it around. This is the reason why Sony Vaio X attracts me in the first place. It only weighs at 655 grams with a 16-hour battery lifespan. So.Cool.

The price : RM4000++

7) AVerTV Hybrid Volar HX. A portable TV Tuner you can attach to your PC. Ok well, another gadget. But for someone who can't leave the PC alone and does not have a real TV at her rented house, this is the best company to have. However the tuning is quite touchy but I think the real TV gives the same difficulty. But this thing needs a tv cable, this is my only problem cause the cable is located at the living hall. Tettt~~

The price : RM260

8) LG LH70 32" Full HD LCD TV completed with Astro. Oouuhh.. hell yeah..what a beautyy~ I don't watch Malay dramas, I always skip local tv programmes except the News. Basically, I don't watch tv that much. But I love watching sports especially football and that's the reason why I need a large screen TV and Astro. Ever since I moved to the new house in Seri Kembangan I barely had the chance to watch even one game and I think I'm dying..

The price (for the LCD alone) : RM2899

9) Something non-gadget please. A new wardrobe. Haha. My current closet is crashing so yeah, I need a new one really soon but maybe next year.

10) Last but not least, a GPS. No specific brand. Perhaps Garmin? I'm lousy at remembering routes and I always go with my instinct and sub-conscious mind when I'm driving and it's quite based on my luck and my two-and-a-half-decades brain. So yeah I truly need a GPS so that I won't have to print the Google maps to somewhere I've never been to before.

The price : Around RM700+ for a good one.


The list still goes on... but I think ten items are more than enough to be one damn good reason for me to break my piggy bank.


Oh by the way, I'm organizing a Xmas Gift Exchange Day for my department.. (ever since I joined the department, I guess I can't stop organizing things. Blergh~)

And do you know what I asked for a gift?

An apron.

A good one, just so you know.

Blast from the past.

I'm on MC today because of medication allergy. Again.

It was just Panadol. Can you believe it? Ok well I do know that I'm allergic to paracetamol but I was so not well this morning thus I decided to take two tablets of Panadol during lunch hour.

To be frank, normally Panadol didn't do anything bad to me. Only once or twice I had the allergy. But this time, it was pretty bad I had to leave the office and went to the clinic.

I went into the consultation room and said, "You can see it on my face. I'm having allergies." My face was swollen.

"What did you take?"

"Panadol," with a silly tone being sarcastic to my ownself.

"It says you're only allergic to Ponstan?" the doctor asked referring to my medical record with the clinic.

"Ah.. before you give me anything, I think you need to update the record. Lignocaine.."

"Lignocaine you alergik?? Bius pun you alergik?" he cut me off.

I nodded and continued, "Prednisolone.."

"Prednisolone??" he cut me again.

"Yea..the steroid."

"That's the medicine I want to give you.."

"Cannot.. or else I'll be having difficulties to breath."

"Then what should I give you?" he asked me. Excuse me, who's the doctor here?

"I don't know," I said, making a funny look. "Normally they give me injections. Maybe you can give me one?" I suggested dumbly, while scratching my itchy face.

He was thinking hard. I knew perfectly what he was thinking.

"Semua ubat pun you alergik. I don't know what to give you.."

I knew by that moment he didn't want to take any risk. I started to doubt whether he is truly a certified general practitioner.

"Just.. give me something for my itchiness," I finally said. Hopeless doctor.

So he gave me two medicine for itchy. And something for swelling. And a pain killer. When the lady at the counter showed me the pain killer, I started to feel furious.

"Ni apa ni? Pain killer?"

The lady nodded.

"Ni Ponstan kan?" I asked sternly while pressing hard on the yellow tablets.

She nodded again.

"I'm allergic to Ponstan la!"

Nak marah, bukan salah dia. So aku sabar je lah. Nak marah doktor, dia kat dalam pulak. So far, Ponstan gives me the worst allergy.

"Dia nak Ayu mampos agaknye," I said to my friend who accompanied me to the clinic in front of the counter.

So yea I got my MC but I only left my office around 4.40pm. Haha. Serupa tak payah MC.

Anyway, tu lah dia kisah seorang doktor yang tidak best.

This Thursday ada Annual Dinner and Dance company aku. Tema baju, Blast From The Past. I am the Area Leader for my department, so Area Leaders ni incharge untuk hal-hal berkaitan tema ni la.. to encourage them to dress up, to update them on the info about the dinner, to provide them information on what to wear based on our theme because each department will represent different era.. etc, etc.

Department aku dapat era 40s lepas based on the draw lots. Memula aku blank betul la apa nak pakai. Lepas google dan buat research sikit, dapat la idea itu ini..I gathered and e-mailed it out to my department.

Lepas tu aku kena select pulak 4-6 people to participate in Battle of Departments.. Macam fashion parade, kena catwalk and do something creative on the stage while showing off our dresses. It's really challenging for me!! Al-maklum aje lah technical team ni macamana.. where all the nerds and geeks come into one place.

I didn't want to participate cause I want to give chances to other people in my team since I'll be doing a dance performance on the night itself so karang macam gila glemer pulak kan. At first dapat la 5 orang.. but one of them asked me to join also. I refused. Alih-alih 3 daripadanya tak dapat datang dinner tu cause they have to do year end support sampai 10.30pm. Aduii... tensyennye.

BAU manager tried to reschedule but it wasn't that easy so I understood.

Last minute, dapat la pengganti 3 orang. Itu pun jenuh la aku force.. pujuk.. encourage.. tunjuk gambar2 aku poyo try out this and that.. After I submitted their names to the social committee, they seemed to be excited on what to wear.

Tadi aku join my colleagues pergi amik suit dia dah sewa, John Travolta. Surprisingly lepas tu bebudak team aku pun sampai. Wooo.. this is a good sign. One of them even asked me what do we need to do on stage. To be frank, aku memang malas nak pikir part ni cause I thought they're not that sporting. Then they asked me to think what to do.

Biar betul..

Kan bagus kalau daripada awal sporting camni!!!!

As for my dance performance, yesterday's rehearsal was so much fun. Kitorang booked dance studio kat Cyberjaya Community Club tu so prektis kat sana lepas keje. Gila bes la.

Lepas tu lepak makan ramai-ramai.

Balik dengan kepenatan.. Kul 12 lebih tido.. kul 2 pagi terjaga.. Demam mengejut. Letih sangat kot. Pastu kepala macam nak pecah. Tak tahan sampai bangun, mencangkung tepi katil sambil genggam rambut. Hahaha. Saiko sungguh.

Ok lah.. itu lah cerita saye yang terkini. Sekiannn.

I'm not like a car that you can fix up.

So, I've watched New Moon.

I know it's been frustrating to many viewers so I'm not here to judge anything bad on the film.

Just like Harry Potter movies, New Moon fails to attract viewers who don't read the book, they claimed it was dull and lame and boring. And it fails to entertain all the Twilight Saga readers.

But I think it's normal. One can never satisfy everything.

I noticed that all of my friends who complained on the movie are guys. I'm not judging on anyone or anything but it's not a surprise to me when they are complaining. Yet, I feel a little upset cause they cannot accept the fact that it's not really their kind of movies yet they're blaming the movie for not meeting up to their expectation.

Again, just like Harry Potter.

Lie to me not, but really how many of the guys really read this type of romance + fantasy fiction stories?

Frankly speaking, New Moon movie satisfies me. I read the book, I accept the flaws and some points they missed out but hey, I'm fine with it. I don't criticize because I think they didn't miss most of the important plots.

Before you go out to watch the movie, you must first put aside all your expectations on the movie for it to serve you with brilliant heart-pounding scenes or ear-splitting sound effects because they don't have one.

This is not an action movie, you guys. This is not 2012. What do you expect to be frank (with the fact that you don't read the book)?

And when girls say they like the movie, do you know what my guy friends would say?

Ah.. no matter how bad the movie is, as long as there's Robert Pattinson in, the movie is always a blast.

That's just SO wrong.

Robert never turns me on.

Or perhaps the real excuse for New Moon haters is because there's no hot chick for them to drool on?

Pathetic.

The dance.

Work has been really depressing lately and fun at the same time.

Despite of having to deal with some silly retarded pathetic douchebags, every working day is fun for me and my other ten colleagues as we are having dance practice every lunch hour and after working hours. Our annual dinner and dance is coming soon so we are to perform a dance performance called the Dance Revolution. Basically we make a medley out from six songs.. starting from the 50s till the new era. The songs consists of a twist song (Let's Twist Again by Chubby Checker), a rock n roll song (Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lewis), a disco song (Saturday Night Fever by the Bee Gees), YMCA by Village People (it's a gay song, I know.. lol), an MJ's song (Thriller!! Definitely my favourite.) and the closing song is Single Ladies by Beyonce. Yea, it sounds pretty jaw-dropping. Never in my life I thought I would be dancing Single Ladies, not even a step.

Agak gila lah sebenarnya. The idea started with Poco-poco je actually.. sebab patutnya sebagai last performance time dinner nanti, nak suruh la audience menari sekali. Turned out the committee re-arranged the tentative and our dance will be the first performance. So Poco-poco would be totally boring and dull. One of us showed a clip titled Revolution of Dance and found that everyone seemed to be interested with the idea and decided to try.

Luckily our head of Infrastructure Dept is a professional dancer (he won MJ Malaysia's title when he was just 18 and he used to dance for Datin Seri Tiara Jacquelina) so we asked for his favor to train us and everything became so exciting!

So hmm.. it's pretty crazy for us. Tengok lah nanti macamana. Muehehehe.

The theme for the dinner is Blast From The Past which means we have to dress like the old days and each department will dress according to the draw which the area leaders have picked up. I am the area leader for my department and my team will be dressing up as the 40s!!

Gilee.. Until now I cannot decide what to wear!! Susah laa..

I wish I could just wear a normal dress and ignore the theme but what would my team say?

Hmm.. we'll see. Memang buntu dah ni. My mom suggested a kebaya pendek and batik but how the hell am I supposed to dance Thriller and Single Ladies with kebaya? Koyak kanggg.

I want to go to a costume shop, see what I can find but God, the dinner is just around the corner. Lagi dua minggu je. I think it's too late already.

Anyway, since I'm very kind-hearted today.. here's a sneak peek of our dance rehearsal for Thriller last two weeks. We were just getting the full steps at that time. So don't judge. Haha.







* * * * *

This entry was written earlier before I went out looking for the dress with my mother and finally found one. :)

Yeay!

Happy Eid Adha

The slow growing pain.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Lately I don't really know what to blog anymore.

Not just one or two of my friends started to think that something is going on with me cause it seems that I go back to my hometown quite frequently nowadays. I do have a few personal reasons why I go back to Ipoh but one of the reasons I can't really share with you guys and I'm truly sorry. Not yet.

I know what you're thinking. And no, it's not what you think it is.

I'm not tying the knot. I'm not getting engaged. I'm not planning towards those kinds of things. Pfftt~~

But just let me share one of the reasons why I love spending my weekends at my hometown rather than my own place.

My hometown calms me down. I can forget about work and problems when I'm home. Even it's just temporary but it helps. Like, a lot. I've been under a lot of pressure lately with my work and personal issues, sometimes I feel like my chest is exploding. Thus I do not like spending my weekend here. I want to escape, I need to breath. Leaving Seri Kembangan is like the best treatment I could find. And I'm even thinking of leaving it forever and going back to where I belong.

And I know my parents are lonely. I don't have many siblings and we are all grown ups. Sometimes it breaks my heart thinking that I have not yet given them grandchildren for them to cheer up and play with. It breaks my heart whenever I see how bad they want one and yet I'm not even getting close to it. In fact, I can't even see the path that leads to a happy ending.

I feel like I'm in the wrong place. I'm going nowhere and I'm wasting my time. There's nothing left for me here and it's about time for me to leave. But how sure I am with what I feel?

Escaping from our problems does not solve the problems. But what if escaping is the only solution?

Marriage is like a never ending story for me. I had never been this straight forward, but frankly speaking I am worried with my ownself not to be able to love someone. I have tried so much and I couldn't even say yes and it's just so pathetic. I had done my best to give myself a chance but it's really really hard. My heart is like an icy cold river. I truly have no idea how long it's going to be like this.. and I already forget how it feels to love and be loved.

Oh perhaps I haven't found my Mr Right? I am fucking tired with this retarded excuse. So no, don't tell me that.

Video bangang.

Enjoy.

There is a piece of me that no longer exists because of you.

Just a short update. Boring pulak malam ni.. Nak tido tapi rasa belum nak tido. Tapi dah dekat kul 11 malam.

I expected today would be a very bad day at my office but turned out it was much better than last Friday where I almost got into a quarrel with my colleague. Biasalah bila dah banyak kerja, dan tensyen, dan menyampah.

Tapi Alhamdulillah dedua cool. Dan Allah permudahkan kerja aku hari ni, kerja yang aku rasa aku tak mampu nak buat langsung, boleh siap pulak in one day!!

Magik siot.

Syukurrr~~

Esok buat task baru. Harap-harap takde masalah. Lepas ni diorang nak hand over satu system tu untuk aku manage sorang-sorang. Bagus. Lepas ni, kalau aku dengki, tukar sikit setup aku akan jahanamkan satu projek dan company rugi ribuan ringgit. Mwahahaha.

Tensyen. Semua nak pass kat aku. Ingat aku taiko agaknya.

Right now I am hoping for something new. Something I need. Something I've been searching for so long. I want to move on and go back to where I belong.

Mudah-mudahan pintu rezeki untuk ku terbuka dan segalanya dipermudahkan. Amin.

Struggling with nightmares.

So ok, lagi kisah aku yang entah ape-ape.

Sejak akhir-akhir ni, wisdoom tooth aku yang satu ni memberi sedikit masalah terutama apabila aku nak makan. I can still bear with the pain, but kadang-kadang rasa seperti bengong sedikit so aku decide untuk pergi cabut.

Maka semalam aku dengan berbekalkan azam yang jitu, pergilah menuju ke satu klinik gigi berdekatan dengan rumah ku. Untuk pengetahuan, aku tak pernah cabut gigi (kecuali masa kecik-kecik dulu).. tampal gigi pun tak pernah.

Lepas amik x-ray, dentist tu cakap no need minor surgery since takde tulang yang menghalang. Kalau ade, dia buang sikit je la. *gulp* So terus la nak cabut.

"Awak alergik ponstan?" dia tanya. Aku angguk je.

Then doc nak inject bius tu, aku tanya dulu, "Err..sakit tak?" Sebab aku selalu dengar orang cakap, bius tu sakit. Dia jawab, "Takpe, kita bius je dulu."

So ok, dia inject bius, aku tak rasa sakit pun. Tipu laa korang ni! Bikin cuak je. Rasa cam terbakar je la. Tapi takde laa sakit.

Lepas dah bius, dia tanya, "Nak kumur dulu tak?"

Aku yang dah kebas sebelah mulut ni respon, "Entah?" Sebab aku tak rasa apa-apa. I felt numb.

Dia gelak. "Ha sukati la nak kumur ke tak."

Aku pun kumur je la. Mak ai.. patut lah suruh kumur. Dah keluar darah rupanya. Apasal tak bagitau.. I kan first timer. Ngehh~

Pastu tiba-tiba time aku tengok sinki kecik tu, aku rasa cam berpinar-pinar. Aku tak fobia darah, itu aku sangat pasti kerana I used to be a blood donor, 7 times. Then aku rasa heartbeat aku makin lama makin laju. Wui.. aku gugup ke ni?

Pastu jari-jari aku tiba-tiba je menggigil, terketar-ketar. Aku dengan blurnya tanya doc, "Err... memang macam ni ke?"

"Maksud awak?"

"Apsal saya menggigil?"

"Hah? Awak stress kot. Rileks dulu."

I think I would be able to tell when I'm stressed. Aku perhatikan jari-jari aku. Uish.. macam kena nebulizer. Then, aku rasa mata aku makin sempit.. ehh...

"Err..saya rasa saya alergik la.."

"Hah?" Dia macam terloncat.

"Saya rasa satu muka saya cam dah swollen ni.. Ke memang macam ni?"

Dia terus cabut mask dan cakap, "OK. Saya tak boleh teruskan. Awak kena terus pergi hospital sekarang jugak. Jangan delay."

"Ha?" Aku pulak blur. Dia bangun dan pergi tulis nama ubat yang dia letak dalam bius tu, aku pun bangun dari kerusi. Wooo..melayang. Mujur aku tak rebah siyal. Terus aku pegang dinding.

Sementara dentist tu siapkan referral letter, aku start calling kekawan yang boleh tolong hantarkan ke hospital since dia tak bagi aku drive. Gila susah nak bercakap bila mulut dah kebas ni.

"Err..saya drive sendiri, boleh kan?" aku tanya dentist tu sebab aku tak pasti seteruk mana allergy ni akan jadi.

"Tak. Tak boleh. Awak call kawan awak atau sesapa sekarang jugak." (Ha terima kasih ye, Shidi. Jasamu dikenang.)

"Ok."

"Jangan garu!" dia tegur bila aku dah start garu-garu muka yang makin gatal.

"Tak tahan..." aku mengeluh.

Sampai hospital Serdang... ya Rabbi.. ramainya~~ Macam pasar.. Bising! Then aku terus dapat anti-allergy injection.. aku pun tatau apa menda, sampai dua botol. Aku dah tergaru-garu macam monyet masa tu.

"Kesian. Gatal ek?" MA tu tanya.

"Ha'a. Tapi ni mujur tak teruk la."

"Ini tak teruk??"

"A'a. Kalau saya kena Ponstan, memang tak serupa orang dah."

Dia gelak. "Makanan ade allergy?"

"Ada... Erm.. Ketam..." Aku cuba pikir.. Tp MA tu dah tergelak, "Kesiannya awak."

Lepas dapat injection, slowly kegatalan aku tu hilang. (lain macam je ayat)

Masa register, mamat-mamat kaunter ni boleh ayat-ayat pulak. Kata mata aku cantik la.. aku ni comel la. Aku rasa nak lepuk je. Tapi diorang ni kelakar la. Pastu salah sorang tu buat lawak. Belek IC aku.. Pastu tanya soalan. "Apasal dalam IC ni muka putih... Yang ni muka merah?" sambil tunjuk muka aku.

"Saya tengah alergik ni okk."

"Oh..hehe.. Patutlah."

Nak tunggu turn jumpa doktor tu adui hai. Lebih kurang sejam setengah aku rasa. Peritnya. Shidi dah kelaparan dah tu. Kesian dia. Bila nombor aku naik, terus "Yess!! Nombor aku wei! Cayalah!" macam kena loteri.

Bila dah consult doctor tu, aku tanya lah habis-habis. Especially soalan pasal camne aku nak tau aku ni alergik apa. Aku tak tahan la tiap kali consume ubat tu, baru aku tau aku alergik. Dia jawab dengan best sekali, "There's nothing you can do. You've to try and error."

Pastu dia kata boleh buat skin test.. tapi complicated procedure, so kat blah-blah Western, kat US ada. Duh.. takkan kat Malaysia takde! Dia suruh find out kat hospital swasta ke mana-mana. Tah pape. Takkan la tak ade.

Then doc nak inject satu lagi.. tapi ubat tu sleepy. Terus aku object.

Doc bagi ubat gatal dengan steroid. Masa pharmacist tu cakap 'steroid', aku terus "Hah? steroid?" Aku ingat salah dengar.

Fine. Dipendekkan cerita, pagi tadi kat ofis, aku makanlah steroid tu. Kena makan 2 biji, 3 kali sehari. Selang beberapa minit, aku rasa dada aku ketat. Sekali lagi, aku rasa heartbeat aku jadi laju. Macam nak terkeluar jantung.

"Ah sudahhhhh.." aku mengeluh sorang-sorang.

Mula lah aku batuk tak henti-henti sebab aku makin susah nak bernafas. Adoi, cuak..cuak. Ofismet aku yang duduk depan aku dah sound-sound, "Ayu, apsal awak tiba-tiba batuk teruk ni?" Ye tak ye, aku terus IM ofismet aku sorang lagi mintak bawak ke klinik.

Steroid pun aku alergik. Anti-allergy pun aku alergik, camne tu??

Haihh...

Semua gigi bongsu punya pasal. So sekarang nak cabut ke tidak? Apa kata anda?

creeping in the doubt.

Bila Twitter dan Facebook diaktifkan, agak sukar untuk aku terus menulis di blog. They don’t exactly act like blogs, but I don’t know why I feel like they complete everything that I want to do online. Lol.

Alhamdulillah, baru-baru ni aku menerima berita baik dari pakar darah ketika last appointment hari tu. So boleh lah aku berkongsi sikit perihal kondisi aku ni.

Actually I was diagnosed by hematologist with Myeloproliferative disorder, sejenis kanser darah. Tu pun selepas hampir setahun turun naik hospital. Mulanya thrombocytosis je (terlebih platlet akibat tulang sum sum overproduced). Entah camna beberapa bulan yang lepas, hematologist aku cakap, aku ada MPD. Of course lah aku agak berat nak terima news tu. Boleh dikatakan, aku tak percaya pun sebab aku rasa aku sihat walafiat. Tapi bila doc suspect itu ini, aku terdiam je.

Masa mula-mula tau tu, aku jadi bingung. Betul ke aku ada kanser darah.. puncanya sum sum tulang. Dah macam cerita drama dulu-dulu. Pulak tu, MPD ni boleh membawa kepada leukimia.. atau stroke dan jugak heart attack. Konfiden pulak tu doctor ni.

Tambah-tambah pulak, aku ada kenal someone yang involve dengan fund untuk pesakit-pesakit leukimia dekat hospital tu. Dia nampak aku pergi medical check-up dan terus sound, “Are you sick? Is it leukimia?” Aku cam, woi mamat ni.. direct je. Aku cakap lah tak. Tapi dia jawab, “I know the nurses and I know which nurse normally handle which case. So, I’m just checking.”

Saja buat aku cuak! Eee..tensyen.

Pastu, bila aku buat blood test di Ipoh, kebetulan pulak result tu memang tak bagus. Orang lab tu tanya, “Would you like to see our doctor?” Aku cakap, “No, thanks.” Tapi dia tanya lagi, “Are you sure? Do you have your own doctor?” “Yes.” “Oh, then okay.”

So nak dijadikan cerita, lepas buat test itu ini dan jugak ultrasound untuk cek samada spleen dan liver aku membengkak, akhirnya aku dapat juga berita yang aku nak dengar. Berita yang selama ni aku rasa yang patut doc bagitahu awal-awal lagi.

“So okay, actually kami suspect bone marrow awak ada masalah. Tau bone marrow?”

“Sum sum tulang,” I sighed.

“Tapi dalam test yang baru ni, kami cek darah awak under mikroskop and found out something else. Platlet awak bentuk abnormal.”

“Ok.” I was aware about this so I was not surprised. Ovalocytosis.

“Disebabkan dia tak abnormal, maka jangka hayat platlet awak tak lama sebab dia senang pecah.”

Masa ni aku senyap je.. Apsal macam menyeramkan bunyinya.

“Tapi jangan risau lah… awak punya bone marrow takde apa-apa. Bila platlet awak senang pecah, sebab tu platelet count awak tinggi sebab computer reading tu detect yang pecah tu satu-satu platlet.”

Whatever. As long as it’s not cancer. Alhamdulillah… aku mengucap syukur.

“Betul awak takde rasa sakit apa-apa? Excessive bleeding ke..”

“Takdeee,” aku jawab. Bosan. Ni soalan wajib tiap kali appointment.

“Tapi kita tunggu satu lagi test result. Kalau yang tu pun ok, awak boleh discharge,” dia senyum.

Eee..rasa nak meloncat-loncat aku kat situ. Dah letih aku naik turun hospital. Dah setahun aku tunggu keputusan ni. Dah boring amik darah dan keputusannya macam tuuu je.

So I have hereditary elliptocytosis. Yes, my blood is still abnormal but that’s okay. :)

Apa pun, Alhamdulillah. I am cancer free!

Raya Dee Moon

OK cerita dia macam ni.. Actually draft untuk entry ni dah lama buat.. Last updated masa 17hb october yang lalu. Tapi tak siap. Dan tak jugak sambung-sambung.

And I don't think I will continue writing it. It's already really long but only half way. Therefore, daripada aku penat-penat tulis tapi tak publish langsung, biarlah aku publish je entry yang truncated ni. Hahaha.

---------- 17th October 2009 ----------

DUA Jumaat yang lepas, ofis aku telah mengadakan Raya Dee Moon Celebration di mana menggabungkan tiga perayaan utama di Malaysia, iaitu Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Deepavali dan Moon Cake festival.

Kira-kira dua minggu sebelum tu, ofis aku dah start dihiasi dengan decoration bagi membangkitkan suasana raya dee moon ni. PAMB BA department yang start decorate dulu.. Department2 lain semua buat bodo je.. termasuk la department aku. Ribon-ribon dah diberi untuk menganyam ketupat, tapi aku tengok team aku buat tak tahu je so aku pun buat dek je la.

Then former team aku, Prubase dah start anyam ketupat. Aishhh tak leh jadi ni... so aku pun mintak la ribon2 tu nak belajar anyam.. tapi aku buat satu je, then dah malas. Haha.

Tapi semakin dekat hari Jumaat tu, semakin banyak decoration dibuat. Diorang dah start angkut pelita, daun2 kelapa, kotak-kotak kuih bulan, kain ela, tanglung, papan congkak, tampi, dan macam-macam lagi. Department aku baru nak start decorate. Tanglung kami banyak.. paling banyak antara department lain. Hari Khamis tu, barulah nampak bebudak ni struggle nak deco. Pastu diorang mintak aku bawakan barang-barang untuk deco Raya. Tepuk dahi juga lah, dah last minute baru nak hias.. mana nak cari barang-barang tu semua.

So aku pun contact kawan-kawan terdekat.. dan dapat lah beberapa helai songket, kain pelikat, pelita, lampu kelip-kelip dan lain-lain. Since aku rasa tak mencukupi, aku pun singgah kedai stationeries dan beli apa yang patut. Malam Jumaat tu aku bersengkang mata buat kampung mini. Ini sungguh last minute.. ingat nak buat rumah banyak-banyak, tapi tak sempat dah. Tersengguk-sengguk aku buat.

Adalah dalam 70% siap kampung tu, esok pagi aku angkut bawak ke ofis. Lagi 30% aku siapkan di ofis. Hahaha haru biru dibuatnya.. semua berkumpul kat kampung aku, borak-borak, sambil amik gambar.. Tapi aku cuak takut kereta Bumblebee aku tu hilang hahaha. Ada yang ingat itu projek universiti aku la,ada yang ingat aku ambik subjek Art la.. Ada yang tak caye aku buat la.. Ada yang kumpul sekeliling deco tu, sambil congrats aku dan tepuk tangan ramai-ramai. Hahah takde keje. Padahal aku buat cincai je pasal dah last minute sangat.

Hari Khamis tu, aku sentuh kerja aku sikit je. Yang lain habiskan masa buat deco. Begitu jugak bebudak yang lain.. ada yang panjat tangga.. lilit-lilit itu ini, tampal sana sini.. anyam ketupat lagi.. buat lantern lagi.. Macam nak beraya dah.

Tapi dalam banyak-banyak deco, aku paling suka department aku letak anak-anak ikan kap. Eeeee.. geram sungguh la... bila lalu depan deco tu, sure aku stop kejap cucuk-cucuk anak ikan tu dengan jari. Geram.

Hari Jumaat tu, majlis start pukul 4. So plan pukul 3, nak start mekap untuk saree tying competition. Sebenarnya aku tak terfikir pun nak masuk. Tapi department aku tak hantar wakil so ofismet aku, kak Siti ajak masuk since dia willing nak gi belajar ikat sari dengan jiran dia. Aku ni jenis tak kisah sangat, masuk je lah. Takde la fikir apa-apa, sebab kata 'Saree Tying Competition'. Aku ingatkan sekadar ambik sari 6 meter tu, lilit je lah. Tak de lah sampai kena pakai inner ke, mekap ke apa.

Hari Khamis tu baru aku tau kena pakai full outfit. Aduh... nama dah submit, takkan nak tarik diri. Satu department dah tau, aku dengan kak Siti jadi wakil department kitorang. Nak tak nak, proceed je lah. Dengan bantuan kawan india kami, Gawri, dia bawakkan aksesori dan mekap kan aku.

Bila Gawri tengah mekap, aku ambik cermin nak tengok. Mak aih, macam nak terloncat aku dari kerusi bila tengok kening aku tebal semacam. Terus tangan aku gatal, pergi tenyeh kening aku, nak hilangkan line tu. Apa lagi, kena marah la. I went a little panic for a while cause I felt I looked so hideous.

[photo removed]

When I came out from the dressing room, everyone's eyes were on me, looking so shocked. Memang bodo dan memalukan. Paling tak tahan bila Head of HR lalu kat tempat aku dengan muka berkerut-kerut.. pastu dia pergi dekat aku dan terkejut, "Oh my God.. it's you, Ayu. I just wondered when did we hire a new Indian staff for PAMB. You totally transformed!"

Ok well that explains something. I don't really dress up when I go to work.

One of the rules for the competition was we are not allowed to wear any accessories except hairdo and makeup before the competition begins. So I still wore my Kebaya when the celebration began. Dah kena cop artis Indonesian pulak.

Aku malas nak cerita sangat masa pertandingan tu. Ahahaha memalukan. Pertandingan tu majoriti yang tolong ikat sari adalah Indian sendiri, so of course la ikatan sari diorang kemas dan cantik. Masa diberi 10 minit je, so aku paling last siap. Hahahaa. Biase lah, first timer beb. Sari aku asyik nak terlondeh je.

[photo removed]

---------- the draft ends here ----------

Anyway the competition was a total fun and people laughed like mad. They were still talking about it after a few days. They came to me asking, "Was it really you?", "It was you, right?" "You were hilarious!" "You looked so different lah, Ayu!" Siap time tengah tunggu lif, ada orang bisik-bisik sambil jari tuding-tuding kat aku. Haha. Ape kes.

Besides that, ada jugak pertandingan-pertandingan lain. Main gasing pun ada. Chinese yang menang. Haha. Cool!

But seriously it was tiring. Lepas majlis, aku rushing pergi KL central, nak balik Ipoh. Dah lah tak sempat packing, baju salin lupe nak bawak. Takkan nak naik train pakai sari/kebaya? Balik rumah jap, tukar baju. Mekap tak buang lagi ni. Dah lambat sangat. Dalam kereta baru sibuk nak cabut batu-batu kat muka ni.

Sampai Putrajaya Central, ada mata-mata yang memandang. Raba lagi muka.. rupanya batu kat hidung lupa nak cabut!!! Aduhhhh!!!

Mana tak heran orang dibuatnya.. pakai tudung, tshirt dgn jeans. Tiba-tiba mekap cam orang nak menari tarian bharatanatyam. Terpaksa lah jalan pun tundukkkkk je.

Anyway enjoy the photos. Ngantuk dah, mahu tidur. Nite~~!

[photo removed]

[photo removed]

Tuk! Tuk! Tuk! Anybody home?

Ok well... Once upon a time, I was tagged by Ms Eita to do a meme. So.. *clear throat*, since I am aware of having the need to keep this blog alive, let me do this meme that I could barely recall when she tagged me. Probably last year? Hahaha.

I've stories to share with you, but somehow I am not in the right mood to tell stories. Maybe later on.. or tomorrow.. or perhaps, next month. (This is what happens when you have Facebook and Twitter. Blogger, do take note on this serious matter.)

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog. <- I am so not going to do this cause I know no one will do the meme. Sorry.

Starting time : 10.00pm
Name : ayu
Sisters : 1
Brothers : 1
Shoe size : 6 or 7
Height : 155cm
Where do you live : Seri Kembangan, Selangor.

Have you ever been on a plane : Yeap.
Swam in the ocean : Oh yeah.. I can float easily!
Fallen asleep at school : Yes, once. And I was impressed by myself.

Broken someone’s heart : Everyone has.
Fell off your chair : Pernah beb. Dua kali. Sekali masa darjah tiga, budak kelas aku tarik kerusi masa aku nak duduk. Sekali masa farewell dinner ayah aku.

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Hahahahaa.. pernah. Macam loser.
Saved e-mails : Ada. Good and memorable ones.

What is your room like : SK, - plain white.. not well-organized, cheap furnitures. Ipoh - large, baby blue walls, dreamy, 1 king sized bed + 1 single bed = tamak tak?

What’s right beside you: Wall.
What is the last thing you ate : Maggie. Takde mood nak prepare dinner.

Ever had...
Chicken pox : Macam pernah tapi entah lah.
Sore throat : Musti la.
Stitches : Nope.
Broken nose : Alhamdulillah never.

Do you...
Believe in love at first sight : Kurang percaya.

Who was/were...
The last person you danced with : My officemate.
Last made you smile : Officemates jugak.
You last yelled at : Can't recall.

Today did you...
Talk to someone you like : Jap tak ingat la.. tadi tu aku berangan cakap dgn dia ke betul-betul..
Kissed anyone : Takde.
Get sick : Headache.
Talk to an ex : No.
Miss someone : I miss some people I know almost everyday.

Who do you really hate: I don't really remember when I hate someone. Funny, isn't it?
Do you like your hand-writing : Oh crap, hell no!
Are your toe nails painted : Nope.

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : Eric Northman's. Haha.
What color shirt are you wearing now : White.
Are you a friendly person : Depends..

Do you have any pets : No
Do you sleep with the TV on: Rarely. Mengganggu tidurku.
What are you doing right now : Wasting my time.
Can you handle the truth : Most of the time, yes.

Are you closer to your mother or father : Mother.

Do you eat healthy : Not really.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : Takdeeee. Boring lah soklan-soklan gedik camni.

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : shinizzle, or my officemates.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : I can be loud.

Are you confident : No, I am not.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
Jap umur aku bape skang...
1. Aku Ketua Tingkatan. Kalau tak silap, tahun ni la. Lupe doh.
2. Pergi sekolah naik basikal.
3. Aku start belajar masak sendiri.
4. Dah start gila internet masa ni.
5. I had like thirty penpals at this time and I truly enjoyed writing/receiving mails.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1. No hutang-hutang. Everything is in cash please.
2. Stop working, definitely. Hari-hari pergi gym.. Gym sendiri, harap maklum.
3. Duduk oversea, Malaysia jadi tempat persinggahan je. HAHA.
4. Bagi ceramah "How to Be A Successful Billionaire." HAHAHA.
5. Tulis buku "How it feels to be too rich to be true." HAHAHAHA.


5 of my bad habits
1. I am VERY clumsy. I spill my food and drinks, I dirt my own clothes, I cut myself unconsciously, I step on and break things.
2. I burp.
3. I spend hours on the Internet without realizing it.
4. I can't stop myself from buying books.
5. I judge a book by its cover when it comes to guys.


5 places I’ve lived/living
1. Pinggiran Ukay, Ampang.
2. Tanjung Malim.
3. Guar Chempedak, Yan.
4. Kuala Terengganu.
5. Kuala Kubu Bharu.

back and kicking.

So I'm back.

Sorry for the hiatus mode. My blog was down for some funny reasons and I was not in the mood to fix it. Plus, I nearly thought nobody bothered to read my blog so my sincere apology to those who were asking about it.

So hari ni dapatlah hidupkan balik blog ni sebab ada kelapangan since MC untuk check-up di Hospital Ampang. During my previous appointment, my spleen and liver seemed to be fine so I was expecting the ultrasound would be fine too.

Masa tengah scan tu, tiba-tiba doc stop dan tanya, "Dah kahwin ke?" Terkedu kejap aku. "Eh, belum." Then aku dah hilang cuak baru aku fikir, it must be a compulsory question to ask before doing ultrasound. Before, ok. Bikin saspen je.


So Alhamdulillah, kali ni result baik. Harap2 next appointment lagi dua minggu turut ada kemajuan. Tapi tolonglahhh jangan suruh buat bone marrow. Arkhhh..


How was your Raya?


My Raya was okay. I think last time was better but I felt thankful enough to be able to celebrate Raya with all my family members and relatives, with a good health condition and everything was just perfect for us. Alhamdulillah.. Couldn't ask for more.


Begitu juga dengan bulan Ramadhan, ada beberapa kenalan dan saudara-mara yang selamat dikurniakan zuriat yang comel dan sihat hendaknya. Alhamdulillah.


Bila mana ada kelahiran, pasti juga ada kematian. Lumrah hidup kita sebagai hambaNya.


Dalam minggu pertama Raya, keluarga aku dikejutkan dengan pemergian biras sepupu aku yang menghadapi komplikasi setelah bersalin dan juga bapa saudara aku yang meninggal dunia secara mengejut menyebabkan arwah terpaksa menjalani post-mortem. Arwah Uncle disahkan meninggal kerana masalah jantung walaupun arwah tak ada sebarang medical history selama beliau hidup. 

Sesungguhnya, mati itu pasti. Al-Fatihah.
 Apapun Raya kali ni aku tak banyak berjalan. Lebih kepada melayan tetamu yang berkunjung ke rumah. Aku ada gambar-gambar Raya tapi malas pulak nak upload.

Semalam, kita dikejutkan dengan gegaran yang berpunca dari gempa bumi di kepulauan Sumatera. Masa tu aku masih di office. Tengah sakit kepala yang amat sangat sebab terlalu lama menghadap komputer. So tangan kiri aku letak atas meja sambil menongkat dahi. Mata berkerut memandang meja. Tiba-tiba aku rasa meja bergegar. For a split second, aku ingat aku yang nak pitam. Cepat-cepat aku angkat muka, "Ya Allah.."


Kemudian baru aku sedar, tengah gegaran. Officemate depan aku terus meloncat bangun dari kerusi. Office yang senyap, makin lama makin bising. 


"Did you feel that?"


"It was shaking just now, right?"


"I thought I was dizzy!"


"God, I'm scared!"


It lasted for a few seconds and some of my colleagues were already freaking out. I was scared too but still, I had to finish my work. 
 At that time, I was already thinking about Indonesia. "It must be coming from there. Kalau betul, Malaysia pun boleh rasa gegaran sekuat ni, macamana pulak yang dekat sana..."



Malaysia negara yang bebas dari bencana alam yang besar (kecuali tsunami yang lepas), jadi a slight tremor macam ni pun dah cukup buat kita kecut perut. Bayangkanlah mereka yang tinggal di sana tu. Bersyukurlah apa pun.

Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Besar.

Salam Lebaran.

[photo removed]

Venus Vs. Mars

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leave them.

7. Although when the women leave them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.



Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have anything to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Sedikit teguran panas.

Just a random thing that I truly need to speak out.

Kepada semua orang-orang kita yang suka sangat menggunakan term-term makanan untuk merujuk kepada perkara yang tidak senonoh atau kotor..

Macam roti kering, sotong kering, rokok daging, apam..

PLEASE!! Jangan la jadi sampah sangat bahasa korang ni.

TAKKAN LAH MAKANAN NAK DISAMAKAN DENGAN BENDA-BENDA TAK SENONOH?!

TAKDE OTAK KE?

Tiap kali orang guna term2 camni depan aku, memang mintak pelempang la tu. Maaf cakap, aku rase korang yang gune term-term macam ni memang takde moral value, unethical dan bodoh.

Daripada aku sekolah lagi aku sedar ramai yang guna. Sampai sekarang benda ni dengan mudah membangkitkan kemarahan aku.

Makanan, makanan lah!

Bra, bra lah!

Penis, penis lah!

Apasal nak dikaitkan pulak sedangkan masing-masing dah ada terma sendiri?

Kepada kawan-kawan, tolonglah hentikan sikap memalukan macam ni. Mungkin takde isu bagi korang, tapi pada aku, bahasa macam ni SANGAT CELUPAR.

Sekian sesi mengamuk aku pada malam ni.

Kentang Putar.

Ada member aku ni duk mintak resipi mashed potato yang aku biase buat. Suruh post kat facebook tp aku segan la, aku post kat sini je.

Mashed potato ni aku main belasah resipi sendiri je sebab senang nak buat. So korang nak try boleh lah try tapi korang boleh alter ikut kesukaan masing-masing. Aku jenis tak reti tulis resipi ni sebab bila aku memasak aku main bubuh ikut sesedap rasa, aku tak pernah sukat-sukat. Haha. Agaknye sebab tu lah kot buat kek tak pernah menjadi.

So ni estimation je lah ek.. pepandai lah korang adjust ikut logik sendiri. Hehe. Tak sedap jangan blame aku hahaha.

Bahan-bahan
Alamak ni nak masak untuk berapa orang pulak ni.. hmm.. bedal lah. Lebih kurang dua ke empat orang, bergantung pada nafsu haha. Buat banyak takpe sebab boleh simpan dlm peti ais. Tapi kalau simpan, simpanlah dalam bekas bertutup ye. Kalau tidak, esok pagi, makan mashed potato keras lah anda.

Ok balik semula.

Bahan-bahan

4-6 bijik kentang yang besar. Ah ikut suke lah.
1 cawan susu segar atau satu kotak kecik susu tu. Tak kesah full cream / low fat. Jangan susu sejat, tak sedap. Susu manis tidak boleh ye Shidi! :P
Air secukup rase.. Ni amik air rebusan kentang nanti pun boleh. Tapi nak sikit je.
3-5 keping Cheese.. Jenama ikut suka, janji halal.
Secubit Garam sikit.. haih ni camne nk ckp banyak mana ye.. kang termasin pulak. Korang test2 la.. kalau tawar, tambah la lagi.. apo susah. Hehe.

Cara-cara
1) Rebuslah kentang anda sehingga empukk.. Nak tau dah empuk ke tidak, cucuk lah dengan garpu. Ni pun nak ajar ke? :P
2) Then asingkan air dari kentang tadik. Baik-baik, panas tuu.
3) Pastu lenyekkan ia sehingga lumattt.. Nak senang lenyek, pakai anak lesung. Blender aku tak advise lah. Bayangkan kentang tersebut adalah muka bos anda. Ngeh ngeh.
4) Letak atas dapur yang ade api ye. Kalau gas abis, anda boleh skip resipi ini. Api perlahan atau sederhana. Jangan besau-besau, nanti berkerak.
5) Tambah sedikit air rebusan tadi kalau rase kering sangat. Tapi jangan banyak, nanti nak taruk susu lagi..
6) Kacau-kacau-kacau.. Sambil tu nyanyi, “Row row row your boat, gently down the stream..”
7) Then taruk susu.. Jangan rakus, tuang slow slow.. kang tiba-tiba terbanyak sangat, cair pulok.
8) Kacau-kacau-kacau.. Sambil tu nyanyi, “Row row row your boat, gently down the stream..”
9) Then bubuh lah garam dan akhir sekali iyelah cheese. Nyum nyum.. I like cheese. Cheese tersebut akan cair dengan sendiri.
10) Kacau-kacau-kacau.. Sambil tu nyanyi, “Row row row your boat, gently down the stream..”
11) Biar sampai mendidih sikit. Dia takkan mendidih macam kita mendidih bila orang sepak kita. Dia menggelegak sikit-sikit... sebab isinya padu kan. Kalau mendidih macam sup tu, maknanya anda telah masak sup kentang lenyek (Sila tabur hirisan daun bawang sebagai hiasan).
12) Padamkan api, tuang dalam mangkuk, baca Bismillah dan ingatlah orang yang tersayang.

Sebenarnya bila disimpulkan resipi ini, jadi senang gila.

Kentang rebus + air + susu + cheese + garam = Kentang putar.

Oh begitu mudah sekali!

Mashed potato ni tak payah gravy. Sebab dah ada rasanya sendiri. Boleh nak tambah black pepper, tapi aku tak suka. Almaklum, I tak suke pedas-pedas ni hehe.

Boleh taruk butter kalau nak, tapi memikirkan cheese, susu dan kentang itu sendiri sudah cukup menggemukkan, sebaiknya dielakkan. :)

Ia sedap dimakan begitu sahaja atau makan dengan roti. Jangan makan dengan kari kepala ikan sudah lah. Terkejut ikan tu karang.

Okeh selamat mencuba.


Credit : Country Living for the image.

It's a girl!

Dear Faizal and Shidah,

Congrats on your new born baby girl yesterday at Hospital Manjung, Perak.

I'm so happy for both of you.

Kalau baby dapat tahan satu hari je lagi nak keluar, dah cantik dah tarikh lahir... 09.09.09. :)

Apapun, Alhamdulillah kedua-duanya sihat walafiat. Itu yang lebih penting.


So, welcome to the world, sweet little Asma' Khalisah!

Hey all single ladies!

I was looking for Single Ladies video by Beyonce.. it's one of my favourite video clips because the dancing is so good.

Then I found this video response..



They're not bad at all. They danced really really good. And did I mention those people are actually guys and it was their first time wearing heels? Lol.

So cool!

I could never dance like that.

Hari Lahir Abah.

Minggu lepas balik Ipoh sebab cuti Merdeka dan harijadi Abah jatuh pada hari yang sama. So macam biasa, ibu request beli kek Secret Recipe. Ibu nak blueberry cake tu tapi kedai tu dengan bestnye tinggal cheese cakes je. So aku amik je lah blueberry cheese cake.




Comelnya abah senyum macam ni.




Masa birthday surprise tu, abah nampak hepi gile. Pastu dia cakap nak tiup lilin kena cover sikit sebab tanak nampak pipi kembung macam tahun lepas. Haha.





Then ibu beli sepasang baju Melayu warna coklat. Patut abah size M tapi seluar die tak cukup 2cm laa pulak. Terpakse amik size L.


"Uish..ini tambah satu size lagi, Along dah boleh pakai!" cakap Abah bila dia tengok size L.


Anyway, semoga abah dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik dan murah rezeki hendaknya. Amin.

Sayang abah!

Iftar @ Manhattan Fish Market.

For the third time in a week, I had my fast-breaking at Manhattan Fish Market! It's not that I love Manhattan so much but I let my friends decided yet ironically they ended up making the same decisions.

I’m not picky when it comes to food. Babi aku tak makan la.

Anyway yesterday, I met my loyal buddies, padfoot and shinizzle (double z.. double n.. I can never remember) at Sunway Pyramid as planned. Sehari sebelum tu, aku saja ajak Farina join. My bbs met her on the Net so I think it would be great if I ask her to join us. I can’t believe she agreed! Thank you so much for accepting the invitation, Farina. :)



[photo removed]
me and Farina

[photo removed]
me and padfoot

[photo removed]
me and shinizzle


Farina and shinizzle


Patutnya aku shopping raya sekali, but since my sis couldn’t make it, so I postponed our plan to next week. But I ended up buying my raya shoes. Hahahaha.


I really love the box and the eco-friendly bag


I managed to convince my family to go brown this year (read: it’s my favourite colour). My mom even bought my dad a pair of brown baju Melayu for his birthday.

Anyway, padfoot and shinizzle gave me birthday pressies while waiting to break fast. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

[photo removed]
Me with my gifts.



Padfoot always gave me cute birthday gifts which I adore so much. This time she gave me a pink blanket. Awww.. I never saw a cow this cute. Whereas shinizzle gave me the last series of Twilight, Breaking Dawn!! It’s the only series I haven’t bought so now I’ve a complete set of Twilight series. Yeayy!! (my reading still stuck at ‘New Moon’. Hahah)


The gifts.


And I’m so much in love with the red box. Terus aku ganti kotak untuk poskad-poskad aku. I’ve lots of postcards now. Thanks to postcrossing and my friends who bought me postcards when they travelled.


some of the postcards

Okay lah tiba-tiba tak tau nak merepek ape dah.. Till then!


p/s: I'm currently in love with Segoe Print font, so I'm gonna use this font for my entries onwards till I get bored.

Pasal ko.

Beberapa hari yang lepas, aku bercadang nak berbuka puasa dengan kawan-kawan lama. Kemudian kami pergi ke bazaar berdekatan untuk cari juadah berbuka.

Aku jalan dan jalan, tak tau nak beli apa. Habis satu round akhirnya aku dah target apa nak beli. Tengah mundar mandir tu, aku nampak kelibat ko. Totally unexpected. Tak tahu kenapa, tindak balas yang berlaku dalam diri aku adalah aku terus mengelak ko. Aku taknak ko nampak aku walaupun kita masa tu hanya jarak dua meter je. Aku lega ko tak nampak aku. Ko tengah sibuk cari gerai yang menarik so aku amik kesempatan tengok ko sepintas lalu. Sebab aku rasa aku rindu kat ko. Pastu ko lalu melepasi aku dan aku pun tak toleh dah dan teruskan berjalan sambil mengucap syukur ko nampak sihat walafiat.

Tapi ko dah kurus. Actually ko memang kurus. Tapi ko pernah naik sikit, aku suka tengok tapi aku tak pernah cakap sebab aku tahu ko concern pasal weight ko dan confirm ko akan turunkan balik berat ko. Ee..betul tekaan aku.

Dah tiga tahun kita tak spend masa bersama. Kita tak gaduh, tapi friendship kita banyak dugaan.

Ko suruh aku sabar dan suruh aku jangan amik peduli. Tapi tak boleh lah, asyik aku je bersabar. Letih. Macam-macam dugaan. Aku tak pernah salahkan ko atas apa yang jadi. Semua silap aku, sebab aku tak terus bersabar. Aku putus asa sebab aku tak macam ko. Ko tak kisah orang nak cakap apa..

Dulu kita punyalah rapat, ko salu dulukan aku. Ko make sure aku selamat, ko make sure aku happy. Ko jaga aku walau ke mana je kita pergi. Kadang-kadang aku rasa ko treat aku macam aku ni takleh diharap. Tapi still, ko cakap ko percayakan aku. Sampai aku buat jahat pun ko cakap takpe, itu hak ko. Kawan apa ko ni? Hahaha.

Ko tak pernah cakap aku berubah. Jauh sekali nak suruh aku berubah. Eventhough aku rasa aku banyak berubah, tapi ko cakap aku masih macam ko mula-mula kenal aku. Ko terima je baik buruk perangai aku. Kadang-kadang aku pun tak faham apsal ko ni fleksibel sangat dengan aku.

Pastu orang tak senang hati tengok kita berkawan. Dari sekolah lagi, orang asyik pertikai apsal ko baik dengan aku. Susahlah kawan dengan orang ada rupa cam ko ni. Kalau aku hot macam Jessica Alba sure takde masalah dah. Pastu orang buat fitnah pasal kita. Pasal aku tergila-gilakan ko. Padahal aku tergila-gilakan kawan ko masa tu. Haha. Dah kahwin pun dia. Cerita lama. Aku buat pekak je lah walaupun aku selalu rasa masa tu ramai sangat kejam dengan aku.

Bila kita sambung belajar, kita lost contact kejap tapi aku pun tak ingat macamana kita boleh rapat balik. Aku rasa ko start dulu. Aku kenalkan ko pada kawan-kawan aku dan ko pun introduce kawan-kawan ko. Kita jadi satu geng. Terbaiklah masa tu. Kalau boleh tiap-tiap malam nak jumpa. Tengok korang main futsal (tp ko duduk kat tepi, ko tak suka main), pastu kita gi karaoke (ko tak suka nyanyi sangat, ko pemalu haha), tengok wayang, lepak makan.. macam-macam lah.

Tapi paling aku tak boleh lupa bila ko ada krisis dengan kawan-kawan kita. Aku tak nak campur sebab semua kawan aku. Tapi aku serba salah sangat masa tu. Masa diorang main futsal, tiba-tiba ko datang. Aku yang takde kena-mengena ni berderau tengok ko muncul dari jauh. Pastu, ko down gile. Aku gugup time tu, aku buat dunno je sebab ada orang lagi concern dekat ko. Aku nak sangat bagitahu yang ko tak patut datang, nanti keadaan jadi makin teruk. Tapi orang lain pergi dekat ko, pujuk ko. Tapi ko tepis. Ko blah masuk dalam kereta ko.

Pastu diorang try pujuk ko, kecuali aku. Aku memang surrender bab-bab pujuk ni. Aku tunggu kat kereta aku. Buntu. Walaupun kita satu tempat tapi since masing-masing dalam kereta, aku rasa nak call ko tapi aku takut ko marah aku. Tiba-tiba kawan-kawan kita datang kat aku, “Dia nak jumpe Ayu.”

Aku terus panik. Aku tak nak campur, aku cakap. Korang yang gaduh korang setel la sendiri. Pastu orang lain offer diri nak pujuk, orang tu cakap biar dia handle, dia tahu camne nak handle ko. Aku biarkan je lah dia pergi kat ko. Dia masuk kereta ko. Pastu apa jadi, aku tak tau. Yang aku tahu, tiba-tiba aku toleh dia muncul sebelah aku, “Dia nak jumpa ko jugak. Dia tak nak orang lain. Aku pun dia tak nak layan.”

Aku pun pasrah, berjalan pergi kereta ko yang hanya diselangi tiga empat bijik kereta tapi ya Rabbi aku rasa macam jauhnya nak sampai kereta ko. Berpeluh-peluh tangan aku. Memujuk itu satu pekerjaan yang begitu mencabar bagi aku. Sila faham. Aku ingat ko duduk dekat driver’s seat, dah lah cermin ko tinted gila. Aku otomatik pergi seblah kiri. Sekali aku nak bukak pintu, nampak ko kat seat tu mujur aku tak pengsan. Terus aku pusing gi blah driver. Woi, aku tak penah bawak kete gajah macam ni tiba-tiba duduk tempat driver dan expect aku menjalankan sesi pemujukan. Dah lah nak masuk kereta ko tu pun aku kena ala-ala melompat.

Tapi takpe, ko punye pasal. Aku sanggup. I’m your friend, of course I’m always here for you. Pastu ko start lepas perasaan. Sampai ko menangis. Ko tau tak aku rase nak terjun keluar kereta bila ko nangis camtu. Gila teruk. Aku tahu aku failed malam tu, tapi Alhamdulillah since then kita semua ok.

Aku pun pernah nangis depan ko. Member aku drive kereta tiba-tiba terlanggar anjing sampai bersepai plate kereta, bocor radiator. Masa tu lewat malam, entah camna ko dengan kawan-kawan ko drive aku pun tak tau, sekejap je korang dah sampai tempat kejadian. Korang tolak kereta aku, pastu korang hantar kitorang balik. Dalam kereta korang buat lawak nonstop sampai aku lupa pasal kereta aku.

Dan satu insiden yang sampai sekarang jadi tanda tanya masa kita lepak makan dekat Uptown. Aku buat lawak, pastu ko sambung lawak aku dengan bertanya soalan yang membuatkan aku terkedu tak mampu nak jawab. Pasal kita. Aku terus diam dan sambung makan. Pastu ko macam angin tak nak cakap dengan aku, ko terus bad mood sepanjang malam tu. Ko expect apa sebenarnya?

Tapi kan itu cerita dulu-dulu la. Sekarang dah takde cerita. Lepas ko dengan orang lain krisis, geng kita macam dah tak seronok. Tu lah, ko pun satu. Sapa suruh hensem sangat. Nyampah betul aku. Aku pun tak ingat lah hujung-hujung friendship kita macamana. Tapi yang aku ingat, kerana orang lain friendship kita jadi macam ni. Last-last aku give up, ko pulak dah give up nak suruh aku bersabar.

Kenapa orang lain susah nak jadi macam aku? Berkawan dengan ikhlas dan stay jadi kawan. Kenapa nak tukar-tukar hubungan tu jadi lain? Tak best ke jadi kawan je?

Aku tahu sekarang ko dah berubah. Tapi aku pun dah jadi macam ko, tak kisah pun kalau ko berubah. Tapi susahlah nak baik balik macam dulu. Dunia ko dah lain sangat. Aku pun sama. Kalau ko baca entry ni dan ko rasa ko lah orangnya, contact la aku. Tapi aku tak mengharap pun. Birthday aku yang lepas pun ko tak wish. Dulu ko la antara yang pertama. Aku pulak tak pernah lupa birthday ko. Nak gak aku lupa, tapi tak boleh pulak.

Bila fikir-fikir balik, kenapalah aku tak tegur je ko hari tu...

Bulan Puasa dan Merdeka.

Khamis lepas, aku dan ofismet berbuka sama-sama di rumah salah seorang ofismet aku, Lin kat Putrajaya. Kitorang beli makanan kat bazaar. Masa sampai dekat bazaar tu, hari dah mendung. Tengah-tengah beli, hujannnn lebat. Macam nak tercampak payung.

Lepas berbuka, tak dapat nak terawih, masing-masing lupa bawak telekung. Solat Maghrib pun pinjam telekung tuan rumah je. Lin jamu kuih raya dia buat, Mazola dengan satu lagi kuih ape tah kakak dia beli. Pastu Eva ajak main card game, Taboo. Game dia lebih kurang camni.. Based on card yang dicabut, kitorang kena suruh partner teka words dalam card tu. At the same time, ada 5 words yg berkaitan dengan word tu yang dipanggil Taboo words. So bila kita nak describe, kita tak boleh sebut the Taboo words.

For instance, the word is "Globe". The taboo words are map, round, countries, earth and spin. So bila tengah bagi clue tu, tak boleh sebut those five words and yes, we need to speak in English. Jangan cakap la grammar entah ke mane, tergagap-gagap fikir other words than the taboo words. Kelakar gila.

Ade satu word ni aku dapat, "Compost". Aku takde idea camna nak bagi clue cause it's not a common word we use everyday. So I had to think another way. Aku pun describe, "When we want to send email, we click?" Partner aku, Eva pun terus jawab, "COMPOSE!" Hahahaa. We stil got the point as long as the pronounciation sounds alike.

Sampai krem perut dan kaki kitorang gelak.

Then abis game (my team lost by 1 point), tiba-tiba diorang bawak kuar brownies siap dengan lilin. Of course lah aku terkejut. Padanlah diorang beriya sangat nak berbuka sama-sama ari Kamis tu. Si Jannah yang on replacement leave struggle datang all the way from Ipoh.

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Such a lovely surprise. Terima kasih Lin, Eva, Jannah dan Alin. *hugs*

Seperti weekend lepas, minggu ni aku balik Ipoh lagi.

Jumaat lepas, keluar ofis pukul 4.50pm.. terus bergegas ke Shah Alam untuk amik adik aku. Mak aih dia punya jem.. I did expect the traffic jam sebab dulu aku pernah amik dia pas office hours. But this time, it was ten times worse. Maybe orang kelam kabut nak balik prepare untuk berbuka, atau pun sibuk nak gi bazaar.

I was a little very worried as our train to Ipoh was at 8pm. By 6pm, aku belum sampai UiTM lagi. Lepas amik adik aku, terus pecut pergi ERL Putrajaya. Macam gila aku bawak kereta, sampai adik aku diam dalam kereta, baca doa naik kenderaan sepanjang journey. Hahaha.

But no, we didn't make it. Tak sempat catch ERL pukul 7. Terlepas dalam satu dua minit. So we had to wait another 20 minutes camtu.. so definitely we had to break fast while waiting for the train.

It was 7.55pm by the time we reached KL central. Masa sampai tu, staff KTM tu dah nak tutup entrance but I managed to stop him. "Train sekarang. Cepat sikit ek!" he said. So we were the last passengers to aboard. How lucky! Nak tanak, terpaksa lah terus masuk coach paling dekat dgn escalator sebab train dah nak gerak.

OMG. The train was so freaking long, we had to pass through around 10 coaches including the cafeteria. Penatttt gile. By the time we found our seats, the train already stopped at Sentul station. Perghhh.. dah lah lapar, tangan lenguh gile bawak beg. Both me and my sis are having muscle strain till today.

I was really distracted by a couple who sat next to us. Mengada-ngada. Buat bunyi merengek-rengek konon manja la. "Ada pulak yang kena lempang karang," aku sound.

Aku nak pergi beli something heavy kat cafe for dinner since kitorang makan roti je untuk berbuka tapi pikir jauhhh gilee (coach kitorang yg first sekali) aku jadi malas pulak. Around 10pm, tiba-tiba ade orang jual makanan lalu sebelah aku. Alhamdulillah! Adik aku makan dengan berselera sekali, aku pulak terbantut nak makan sebab nasik aku mentah. Malang sungguh tapi mujur aku rasa kenyang.

Hari Sabtu, aku masak Carbonara spaghetti and mashed potato atas request sepupu dan adik aku. Diorang makan sampai bersandar kat kerusi. Hahah.

Hari Ahad, we plan to go for rayee shopping! So tengoklah kalau rajin aku sambung entry ni.

Till then, good night!